Posts Tagged ‘1’

KÍMÚDÚ /KIMUTU Discovered (ancient relative of humanity)

Posted: April 15, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Early last year I went with Rebecca a friend who happened to visit Kenya to Kariandusi prehistoric site in Gilgil, when we arrived, I was expecting to find real stuff that will amaze me, you know what I mean, but I was kinda sorry, we saw many small curved stones that we supposed to believe were our ancestors’ tools and weapons, also skulls of our distance relative Homo-wherever, I wasn’t so much convinced, I guess evolution and history isn’t my thing, I am into traveling big time and that’s why after the trip a new urge and love to visit mighty places like Koobi Fora, Olduvai Gorge which is normally referred to as “The Cradle of Mankind” and the famous west of Lake Turkana, where they discovered Kenyanthropus platyops emerged. I have always wished to visit lake Turkana and now coz my guy Thomas Isaiah is in Lodwa (you won’t belive what this Pastors son believes, ati he is an Atheist, ati he tells me religion is a tragedy path to humanity, what shit is that!? Ati we all have no purpose on Earth ? He must have a lot of faith to believe that). I don’t know how awesome I will feel when I finally step in that far away land cut out from civilization, at least Lake Baringo is closer to what i mean if you have been there, those are my places I‘d rather go there than Mombasa, I love being in less known/visited/ away from civilization places I think that’s why I love space science so much, I follow every mission, I was exited to follow the mission to mass, I watch it on DVD time and again, now the real shit to blow you is the probe New Horizons which blasted from Earth 2006 on its way to Pluto, it will be there in year 2015, that’s just amaaaaaazing! , I will post about that soon
Now about this Kimutu they discovered in South Africa, is amazing regardless of whether its a side-branch removed from humanity or whether its our ancestors, these new hominids has brought with it a lot of excitement to those like me who follow science news, International team of scientists said it might be a strong candidate for the immediate ancestor to the human lineage, look at that skull well and believe you me its not gorilla and its not human, something in between, that’s creepy ..I think the bible dint have to tell us everything in the world, that’s why God gave us brains to think and discover..okay wait a minute, if man originated in Africa like 6 billion years I can draw a flow chart that kinda proves or wherever, that we are all Africans, we originated here, and all this fuss ’bout culture, black, white, racism, and tribalism is truly vain, right? Just like the bible shows we came from one family, Jews err!..mmhhh… no, no that part ….am lost….lets just stick to our discussion.
One thing also I have discovered is that scientific theories do change with new discoveries, unlike Gods word which is unchanged absolute truth, am reminded not to change the bible to fit this theories, you might wake up one day and scientists tell you the carbon dating thingy only give dates for thousand of years not billions and Earth isn’t billions of years old.

Have you ever heard of dinosaur in the bible?

Job 40:15-24
“Behold, Be’hemoth, which I made as I made you, he eats grass like an ox, Behold his strength in his loins, and his power in the muscles of his belly. He makes his tail stiff like a cedar, the sinews of his thighs are knit together. His bones are tubes of bronze, his limbs like bars of iron. He is the first of the works of God, let him who made him bring near his sword!
For the mountains yield food for him where all the wild beasts play. Under the lotus plants he lies, in the covert of the reeds and in the marsh

On my research I found that the word “Behemoth” means “Giant, kingly beast”, trust me, meaner Behemoth for you is clearly a dinosaur, ebu check ati tail like cedar!? isn’t that like a giant lizard or dinosaur? lakini I ask why the funny name? It is not unusual to see animals referred to with names we don’t recognize. If you look in any Bible dictionary under animals, you will see lots of animals and their original Hebrew names. For example who would recognize the word “namer” as being the cheetah? Or “akbar” as being the mouse? The translation of many animal names from Hebrew was quite easy. Scholars could look at the physical descriptions and apply the appropriate English name. But when the translators came to the animal called “Behemoth” (described in Job chapter 40) ( wuu!! ..this guy behemoth is sending shivers down my spine ) they didn’t know what animal it was because no living animal fit that description. So in the English bible, they kept this animal’s original Hebrew name.

You got to love Be’hemoth

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Musicians in Kenya using Twitter.

Posted: April 7, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Posted by Lawrence Mwangi


Almost all singists in Kenya have a Facebook page, kweli! rongo? But only few are using twitter, I would love to see more doing their thing in twitter, Gospelfathers, Nonini, Stella Mwangi aka STL, Avril, Madtraxx , Eric Wainaina, usernames @gosplefathers @noninimusic @stellamwangi @avrilogopa and @madtraxx @ EricWainaina respectively tops my list of Kenyan musician utilizing twitter, my research is limited to what names musicians are using on twitter, there might be some I don’t know about, on that list am interested with @noninimusic, his page is kinda busy compared to others, about his music progress, promoting his work godfather and where his shows are happening, gives links to downloads and his website, now another thing with Nonini, you follow him he will follow you, that makes his fans feel special. Ooohh and of cause me my username is @lawey .
You can use twitter to waste time or for your music career in a way that wins you fans.

Here are some of the ways to do that.

1. Create a twitter page
You need somewhere to start from and that’s opening a twitter account by visiting Twitter Website clicking on ‘sigh up’ button the rest in is a downhill slide, finally you can post a 140 character tweet to communicate to your followers

2. Following other folks
Once your Twitter account is in place, it’s time to start looking for other Twitter users to follow. If you know friends who use Twitter, start off by following them and then checking to see who else is following them – you might find more people to follow yourself in their list. The trick here is to get people to follow you – and the best way to do that is to start following them. Since you want to use Twitter to advance your music, your label or other music related business, look for fellow music types; Music fans, journalists, artists, labels, etc – these are the people you want to follow you, and I have given you examples lets do this!

3. Be wise when tweeting
The beauty of Twitter is also its downfall – the TMI effect. Twitter can be a great way to not only keep fans informed about your news but it can also make them feel closer to the whole process when you tweet about things you’re working on as you’re doing them. The trick is not to go too far and overload people with so much info they ignore your tweets. For instance, peppering your tweets about your show dates with tweets like “out buying strings for the tour” can be fun for people to read, but chronicling every inhale and exhale is overkill. Your important info will get lost in the shuffle.

4. Be Personal
Although giving people too much info can be a Twitter turnoff, not giving them enough attention can be equally damaging. There are many services, like Twitterfeed that will pick up your blog RSS feeds and post them to your Twitter page, doing the tweeting for you. This is good for your blog traffic, but if your only tweets are through a feeder, than people will stop paying attention. Make sure you keep adding personal tweets in there with the tweets picked up but your feeder – otherwise people will think you ignore your Twitter page – and they’ll start ignoring you.

5. Socialize
I do that very often when I find @muendo @Chiira @Amasy @kahenya @savvykenya @mwistar @kidkanye @MosesKoinange @switcheeks @misswairesh among others conversing, social interaction is the point of Twitter, so jump into the conversation. Not only may you end up building relationships with people that can help you in your music career, but you will also draw people back to your own Twitter page – where all of your news about your new release, tour dates and more can be found. You may even draw in some new fans.

6. Time is wealth don’t waste
Like, Facebook, Myspace, Twitter can be an enormous time sucker. Don’t substitute interaction on Twitter, Facebook or any social networking site for actually DOING something. Twitter can be a tool in your promotional arsenal, but it should never come before the basics like practicing, playing shows, and so on. Your number of Twitter followers, like your number of Facebook friends, is actually a pretty poor indicator of how much you’re accomplishing, so don’t forget most of what you need to do for your music career needs to happen outside of the virtual world.

7. Cool stuff to twit about, (examples)
Here are some ideas about things your can tweet about to keep music fans interested:
Updates from studio when recording
Reminding us about release dates shows etc
Updates from road when you’re on tour,
Your daily happenings like ‘am headed to Citizen TV for an exclusive interview’

So am looking forward to see more Kenyan artistes Roughtone, Nameless, Wahu, Wyre, Juliani, DNA, Ukoofulani, Warle Maina, Jua Kali, Cannibal, Jimmy Gait, Danco, Ingwe amongst many

Satan to host MTV Mama Music Awards

Posted: April 1, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Nairobi — He’s been a behind-the-scenes sponsor of the MTV Music Awards since its inception, and now Satan himself will emcee the 2012 Mama awards Nairobi show.

“It’s a real honor for us to have Satan as host,” said MTV Mama awards President Kaitagasini Muguiru. “This guy’s a legend.”

Satan seldom makes public appearances, but has worked extensively through media organs in recent decades. On an interview with our writer Nafo, Lucifer encouraged all to come, it gonna be a blast, he will bring with him the sexiest of his followers Jazabel tops the list, shaking her money maker, there will also be signing of autographs, he also said he will explain his beef with his boss from eternity past and that he has been misunderstood, he is in fact a cool guy.

The chief provocateur won’t disappoint at this year’s MTV show, insiders say. On the docket: Live animals copulating during a performance.

“Satan’s a boundary pusher, no question” says Kaitagasini. “But he’s gotten us this far, and with terrific ratings. We trust his instincts”.

NOTE: This is a satirical post names and events are all fictional.

We are only ones to save our poor selves

Posted: March 31, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Have you ever wondered despite billions of shillings being forced down the throat of Kibera slums, life seems not to change?

Someone told me that when we went helping we decided how we want them helped, and what we think they want, instead of asking them what they want, most donors I have heard speaking, step to a slum and realize the slum is in ‘need of everything’ ,problems of Sanitation, drainage, unemployment, drugs, HIV/Aids, education, housing, health etc,

I once lived in a slum and its addictive and trying to get someone out of slums is hard, and what you might think is terrible thing might not be their number one need, one day I was in a public transport and we passed by the slum I live in Mau Narok called bondeni and I head guyz saying that ‘ukitaka kufa ingia bondeni , watu huuawa ata kwa shilingi mia, hakuna usalama’ (if you want to die go in to that place, you can be killed for 100 Ksh approximately one $ US) to those folks insecurity was the main problem, but funny enough, for us the residents never knew about that, okay people used to get killed eyes gorged out and shiet, point to note, no slum dweller got killed, but guyz coming from outside to get cheap liquor like changaa or sex and drugs lime Maryjane [marijuana],

I know of guyz who tried to build nice houses for their parents outside the slums only to realized after few weeks they already sneaked back tehehehe true story ….

Life in slum had some warmth and togetherness and most mastere survival tactics and ways to get money, and fyi most slum dweller in Nairobi don’t pay electricity or water, true story, even some don’t pay rent, they do illegal connections.

Have you ever wondered why Somalia is always at war? Coz there are a lot of people benefiting from that chupid war. I appreciate the work being done down at Kibera but our work can be more effective if we listen to what they want.

As long as slum dwellers live by handouts they shall remain slaves to donors, begging or receiving without giving lowers the recipients self esteem, there is only one way that I ‘when I lived in a slum’ found effective and that was giving me education is all I needed.

We all agree Kibera and other informal settlements like Mathare, Mukuru etc is blessed with a sea of talent and human resource to be tapped, the recent film ‘soul boy‘ shot in Kibera slums and many more like the footballers, recording artist , fine artist etc the list is endless.

It is also a source of hooligans who are manipulated by politicians to cause mayhem and destruction, drug abuse, and all vises. The one and most effective to transform one, is by education, when you empower somebody by education you change their thinking and view of life and they turn to be better persons, sort of teaching me how to fish rather than giving me a fish sort of thing, with the free primary education initiative and many donor partners and foreign governments

I would love they concentrate on educating the slum population, this include but not limited to skills like computer skills, woodwork and signwriting, hairdressing salon, knitting and sewing

But of cause there is the reality of things like food and ‘sanitary towels’ for girls which if they lack the student won’t be able to attend classes that must be put into consideration.

Finally we are the ones to save our asses in this, no matter how many billions is channeled by donor countries truth of the matter is we Kenyans have the answers, every year the government is loosing billion of tax payers money through corruption scandals by greedy leaders, the latest being the free primary education fund appropriation leading to the UK and US government suspending the funding and who looses? The poor person’s kid. What we may need from donors if there is is help to not need help anymore.

We have the responsibility as Kenyans coming 2012 to vote for the candidate because of their integrity not because they bought our voted, because when they go to that parliament they have to recover the money they bribed you with.

I hope to have sex before rupture

Posted: March 25, 2010 in Uncategorized
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If you dont have a sense of humour dont even try to read this post ..slide on.

I really doubt I know much about you, but I started experimenting and believing in God when I was pretty young and few days ago I made a flash back to my life as a child, and was shocked on how chupit I was to think I had urgent and most touching prayers to ever hit heavenly realm and save mankind ,namely;

BED WETTING prayer– I did it many times though, even at age 10 and the prayer was answered, thank Him I don’t sussu no more, but unfortunately I screwed hope of getting a girl from that forsaken class.

Make mum filthy rich prayer
– I was sick and fed up of poverty, I hated having to work my ass off at our farm in Mau Narok, I HATED GOING TO FARM WHEN ITS RAINY AND SEE WET HUMAN OR DOG POO, going to fetch water long distance, having to wait till Dec for mama to buy me sandak shoes and ‘Tokyo’ or ‘Freezer’ trouser and when am lucky ‘mariboko’ Reebok shoes, I hated Ugali, viazi and githeri tested evil, bread and butter was only on the first week of the month, this prayer was partly answered by God making me realize that its not about money and I can say mum has made a milestone, though shit is still on, but at different better level.

Mum not to die prayer
-when going for her travel’s, I really meant it, I was always scared, what if something bad happens to her? no school for me no good life etc, devil is a lair, him likes instilling fear in our little lives, right? But God works in mysterious ways.

Give her to me and I won’t touch her prayer– till i make her a wyfi, Yes she came, she left, others came, more went, promise broken, was happy ,was heart broken, am yet to figure out what hell goes on in that department.

Stupid school bully prayer-I prayed not to be see or beaten by them bullies, being naughty kid, during the week I used to abuse big boys and hide under mums [teacher] protection, but come on Friday! Wa! I used to be beaten like a worthless snake by other boys, that particular prayer was never considered, God decided He won’t be partner with me in crime.

Not to be in noise maker’s list prayer– that was miserably failed prayer, no one answered me, in fact everyday I received thousand lashes from hungry angry teachers coz I appeared in noise makers list EVERYDAY, and those guyz called school prefects!? Are heartless and mean, where did they come from? Imagine under my name in the noisemakers list they multiplied by 5, meaning I was 5 times noisemaker in class, most times I appeared in two lists one for class prefect, and the other for class monitor. It largely contributed to my attempted suicide and many years after leaving that school if i hear any bell ring i get a cold shudder in my heart, am dead serious life was hell then, its one thing being a noisemaker, its another thing being a combination of noisemaker, a airhead who gets nothing in class, always caught in all bad places including faking sickness to get sick off and being caught drawing two teachers a male and female naked, my cousin Peva tells me back then [we dint use to talk] everyday other girls from her class would tell her ‘leo ule kijana wenu atapigwa!‘ [ today your cousin will be beaten] each day.The school was Kimalel one of the best schools in Baringo, i was there only two years and i had to be transferred.

Help me pass this coming exams and I will get saved come January [not Dec] prayer-which he did and finally in campus He saved my poor self on a Feb, glory to Him! The most and grateful guy is me, being born again is the most awesome thing that happened to me.

It wasn’t all gray, not always whining, some shiznis was happening, I turned to a little sneaky thief, stealing farm produce and especially peas which gave nice money, from mum little farm, other niggaz in da hood one particular Karanja aka Kazee used to steal wheat and we sell in mikebes to local vendors[to this day I feel guilty of stealing from mum and wasting, I have never said sorry], the other dude I don’t remember his name, all I know is he stole from his mums shop though shit hit the fan when he started to do the same from neighboring shops and police got tipped off, that was the end of the reign of little thieves, so with the money I bought cassettes, some sorry South African songs, Chaka Demus and Plies, Lucky Dube my greatest guy [I cried when they killed him], buying many mandazis, sweets for fellow brothers in crime and more to bootlick and bribe the adored and feared bully niggaz in the hood, go to local video theaters watch movies like Rambo, Cynthia Ruthrock, No Retreat No surrender, Delta force 3, Vietnam ‘kijeshi’ wars, Bruce Lee, Drunken master, Brandon Lee, buying cards for chicks in boarding school, had my first club experience and was just amazed by the spinning multicolored disco lights! Not even songs or anything, the lights! and buying precious spray Brut and Cobra, of which if you touched ?I bite your finger of god ..sorry, bite your finger off, like I did on closing day when one bully called Gatere [If Gatere you read this am sorry] tried to spray his sweater non stop for like 2 minutes, couldn’t stand to hear the pshhhhhhhhh and watch my ‘precious’ ‘preci……ous’ shit that I bought with my hard earned cash, go down.

Finally there was one prayer [I know every dude had it when young] that I was passionate about and almost could feel heaven nodding when praying and I promised god ‘heavens’ if he answers, I could stay long hours in the rainy night inside warm blankets rain drops making lovely noise as I ponder and reflect about it, its funny one, don’t laughs at me, the prayer was ;

dear LORD help me to get marred before world ends, prayer -I even saw a visualized my prayer making headlines in the local newspapers;

THUO HOPES TO HAVE SEX BEFORE RUPTURE

Nairobi — After a youth pastor at The Bosks Ministries in Zimmaman preached a powerful message on rupture and the second coming of Jesus, Petro Thuo of Jidtahidi High School was plunged into anxiety that one day the trumpet will sound and he’ll be caught up to meet the Lord in the air without ever having enjoyed what he has dreamt for years, his first sexual encounter with his wife on their wedding night.
“I’ve been really praying that the Lord would delay His return until I can have sex,” Thuo says, sitting on the edge of his bed, hands clasped nervously. So great is his concern that he has considered marrying a near-stranger through AGs office in Nairobi, shagging, then having the marriage nullified, but his conscience disallows it. Still, he can’t shake the fear of missing what he regards as “probably the highest form of earthly pleasure.”

His parents are warning the eager teen not to rush into anything.”I told him to hold his horses,” Mr Omondi a father who has raised him in strict Christian upbringing says. “Any married person knows sex isn’t anything to build your life around, especially when compared to the second coming.” •

Call them funny and self centered, whining or whatever, but they were the best prayers a sincere kid could afford.

please don’t read !! Roman 8:13 when we don’t know how to pray the spirit prays for us.

What are the prayers you prayed and how did it go!? I don’t mean warrior ones in your intercessory team in Campus and church? but the chupit ones,
All in all, hope you remember where He has brought you from and give thanks even if most haven’t been answered but you have moved miles a head, right? Give thanks always, I choose this day to give thanks to the Highest Higher!

Missionary exaggerates Mandera mission testimony

Posted: March 16, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Kasarani Mwiki — Daniel who graduated from local university last year and has been volunteering as a missioner in Mandera under Moto Church admitted he might have exaggerated his testimony due to excitement.

The 20 minutes given to share about God’s work and ask for financial support at Moto Church turned out to be one hour of “movie like” tales of how a Muslim girl swallowed by a large Hyena was saved by fire from heaven after his prayers “the girl Fatuma came out alive not even smelling smoke”

“Due to that heroic act 800 souls accepted Jesus” Said Dani

He went on to tell of how he cursed a big snake that had swallowed Somali fighter winning 15 big fishes[Al Shaababs] for the LORD, many people especially women clapped.

The pastor saw Dani has lost control and gently led the babbling 25 years old missioner off stage with the help of two deacons , the ushers took the offerings and he went to his diggz to finish the second series of ‘Legend of the seeker’

“Okay I bought the angel and big Hyena story” said one conservative witness. “You’re not a decent missionary without a good angelic intervention in your back pocket!”

“But the part about 800 souls getting saved in one service? In a town of less than 5000 population?Aaii.. hehehe That was a really far-fetched.” •

“Dude has been watching a lot of movies” said one youth leader who dint want his name mentioned.

Dani can be reached by his facebook name Danny Daniels

[ NB:This is a Christian satirical post; fiction work]

Certain Nigerians discuss beautyful Nairobi and our Cute ladies!

Posted: March 15, 2010 in Uncategorized
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I was charting with my pal Nafthali stuff bout unbelievable car deals in town after he came form Athi to do some tests for a race car, he loves car race and shiet, it made me stroll the net on rates for importing second hand cars especially from Japan just out of curiosity, and Tara!! I found myself in this Nigerian website called Nairaland in a certain export bizz discussion topic and all over sudden I saw something that made me forget what was I surfing about..Gossip!
It was about a certain super cute Kenyan girl that made a Nigerian dudes heart ‘faraghasha’ mara hio hio

The discussion went like

Topic: Met A Super, Super Cute Girl From Kenya

Got her number a couple days ago, so today we go on a date. We went to the local bookstore together.
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh maaaaaan she’s something else. Im feeling love drunk right now. She’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute, my heart was racing the entire time. …… She paused looked at me and I just went in for the kill. Oooooooooooooh that felt as good

read more on this link………
super cute Kenyan girl

Now wait and this will blow your mind!, I went ahead and saw them secretly admiring how Kenya is amazingly beautiful as compered to some of their cities !! what nice crap is this??? 😀

Here are some posts

Topic: Nairobi Photos (kenya): A Beautiful East African City (Read 264265 views)

So Kenya has no oil., and look at the results, nigeria has oil and neither Lagos nor Abuja can compete with Nairobi so what the hell is wrong with us?

another Nigerian dude said

I have not had the good fortune to visit Nairobi, but my brother has visited twice
and he can attest to the fact that it is a beautiful and civilised city. These pictures
appear to confirm what he has said.
I hope DBLOCK will take note, that a nice city is not about having lovely tall
buildings it is more than that.
Does anyone notice that most of the pictures of Lagos in this section are of buildings,
hardly any pictures of what life is like on the ground for every Lagosian.

still another

Very nice pictures.
But I was watching the America Idol give back last week, Bono, Simeon Cowell, Ryan, Randy and the rest went to Africa, Kenya was shown. Oh my goodness !! I couldn’t believe what I saw.
Now with the beautiful picture here, my question is why is motherland Africa like this? Some place 100% beautiful, some other place 100% dirty and not fit for living.”

read more and see dem photos on the link…..
Kenyan beautiful City

Now can i hear you repeat Alfred Mutuas words najivunia kuwa mkenya (am proud to be a Kenyan)
have a great week