Archive for September, 2010

Its Time For Lungula (Sex), Condoms and Behavior Change My Peers

Posted: September 6, 2010 in Uncategorized

At work, social media sites(facebook, twitter etc), sermons, FM station talk shows, you will hear persons mentioning terms like mpango wa kando (multiple sexual partners among the married), chips funga (one night stands ) “sexually transmitted promotions and grades” at work places and Campus respectively, a recent study carried out in The University of Nairobi {comrades power!} showed that many students fear getting pregnant more than being infected with H.I.V, they don’t use condoms, morning after pill is the only thing they care about, that’s really freaking discovery that should make us all worried.

Close to 95% of all HIV infections result from unprotected sex. Multiple sexual partners among the married (mpango wa kando), inconsistent condom use among the youth, rampant homosexuality here in Nairobi, youth promiscuity and prostitution especially among the young girls searching for economic fulfillment, who engage in sexual relationships with older men without any protection. This has largely contributed to new HIV infections.

You see the ka bladi HIV virus is transmitted largely through one of the most tempting sweet place and it doesn’t show immediately, someone can look healthy and sexy yet they carry the virus, we know and fear the result but we do less to prevent it. I believe we can, if we put our priorities right and take some simple precautions.

A.B.C is what I preach and a big fan of behavior change as the main component to cub H.I.V… so let’s start with the last one baby. Condom here we come!!


Until recently the church has been against advocating for condoms but things have changed, recently in BBC Catholic church gave a statement that condoms can be used to reduce poverty and birth rate in developing countries, to me that’s a milestone, I remember how I argued over that issue with my first year in campus roommate, Thigini was a staunch Catholic, he dint want to listen to what I have to say about my support for condoms, I remember him standing on the bed jumping up and saying “you ! you ! you Lawrence that cannot happen, you are out of your mind” that was 2003.

The first crucial point is proper use of “mipira” (condom), can we be real guys? lets not be like that mamaa who refused to hear anything about homosexuals not knowing her husband was a frequent customer to the boys in Nairobi streets.

You guys are lungularing (having sex) everywhere, I know, I don’t care where you are doing it from; office, pulpit, Arboretum, hood, club, bush or wherever, the virus isn’t your loving forgiving dad, you get the virus its over! last year I joined the peer educators team which is responsible for educating guyz to make informed and responsible decisions about their reproductive and sexual health, especially in prevention and mitigation of the effects of HIV and AIDS and what I have to deal with first is being real and calling it as it is.

About mipira, don’t store it in your back pocket for long time dude, or wallet, aki if I see a circle at the back of your pocket I will beat beat beat…… your back with a stick very hard and sell you to the cops …the thing expires and will bust on you… me… also most important, check expiry date.

Don’t tear condom wrapper with you mouth! What’s up with the hurry!? It’s just the two of you bru! Why risk your life and hers’? you can live longer to hear the Jesus message and drink the living water. So open the condom wrapper carefully.

Wear the thing slowly don’t leave any air at the tip, squeeze the air out, and also when you are done carefully remove it don’t spill semen on your partner.

As if I need to repeat usivae tatu (don’t wear three condoms), one is enough!

My grandma is our source of spiritual inspiration in our family, I and most of our cousins owe him a lot for preaching to us, praying for us and encouraging us to embrace faith.

There are countless times she calls me home to pray over my life, am so lucky. Before I received Christ I wasn’t living a good life, she knew the dangers after loosing one of my cousins to HIV, aki that chic was so hot!. Her dad was a Kalenjin, a half cast tall, slim and all, men were all over her, dint even finish secondary school, money was flowing from freaking hyenas, grandma wasn’t going to see me go the same road. One day she called me and handed me packets of condom!

I was shocked, grandfather was a business man and used to sell em ..tho’ expired but we dint jua (know), soon my boys where streaming in my crib for condoms.(thanks God they all used it wisely and stayed alive to meet man of Calvary, now they are born again Christians two with family one working in the Kenyan Army the other doing business and the rest employed in Nakuru)

So please don’t be silly, put that condom on your willy! Weather you believe it or not God has great plans for your life and you have a purpose to be in this word at this time, you might mess up then immediately you land yourself that scholarship, job overseas or you meet that special someone like I did a month ago 😀 , then you start saying I wish I knew.

Be Faithful

This involves parties within a mutual relationship. The institution of marriage has been facing vast challenges over the years. Divorce rate is too high mainly due to unfaithfulness. Infidelity remains an everyday challenge to many couples due to polygamy, ex factor, gender equality and the increasing number of men and women who get married without adequate preparation.

I think these starts in the foundation

Choose your partner carefully buddy, get someone you truly love and admire. Ask yourself, “Does this person stimulate my mind and my body?” Take time to get to know each other, early in a relationship, this thing of just getting to relationship because of other thing apart from love isn’t cool…ati sijui nini nini nini “age is catching up with me”, there is a very high chance for you getting closer to another person to satisfy you deep need for love and all.

Don’t hold grudges my friend. Learn to forgive. There are going to be disappointments time to time. Remember no one is perfect. Keep the lines of communication open. Talk and listen to each other regularly. Learning to agree to disagree keeps the communication flowing.

Love each other unconditionally. Enjoy intimacy with each other by finding enticing ways to please your partner. Try buying candles, fragrances, oils, incense and toys, Surprise your partner with some sexy undergarments.

Resist temptation. Problems are going to happen that will cause doubts. Brush off negative feelings because negativity causes destruction. Remember never make choices based on doubts.

Avoid slander. Don’t solicit opinions from others about your relationship. The only opinion that matters in a relationship is the partnership.

Express your feelings. Make your partner feel special everyday.
Not trying to convert anybody here or preach but hey the words in the holy book says it all Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer”


This is the only 100% sure way of avoiding HIV and STI infection. Abstaining from lungula in your twenties as a male can be incredibly challenging and I guess to the chicks too. Finding a partner who feels the same way can be difficult, but it is very important, here are some of important notes if you intend to abstain which I strongly recommend.

• Respect yourself. You are working hard to stay abstinent you are now on the home stretch, stay strong.

• Surround yourself with like minded people. Having buds who brag about sex will not help you. If you cannot avoid these people at least do not partake in their conversations.. “Why are you guyz staring at me?”

• by paying close attention to what you watch on television, look at in magazines and women you see na pia kwa net chali yangu

• Find a partner who is like minded and strong, she will help keep you on track. Respect her wishes and do not pressure her to give in to sex. Now this is hard for most guyz , ntarudia tena respect her wishes!!

• Avoid keroro (alcohol) especially when on a date. Drinking lowers your inhibitions and may let a moment of weakness turn to a mistake.

• Recover if you do make a mistake. Many times a man makes a mistake (or a woman sorry …and girls, we have girls here!? Hey single dudes quick take their numbers hehe) then gives up entirely since they have messed up once ati kama mbaya mbaya!. Know you are human and that mistakes may happen. Learn from them and start over. I have personally been there made mistakes but each day I strive to be a better me, the dude I was last month isn’t the same, you keep seeing my mistakes that’s your problem stay there, I careless f.y.i this very personal post speaks so loudly!

Remember Fr. Karanja? Most of you even if you don’t go to church must have some catholic experience in that school your mum took you, remember what he told you when he read 1Co 6:20 you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. And he said that your body is the temple remember? That’s how special you can be.

Behavior Change

Individual behavior and personal responsibility, based on knowledge we have gained so far will be our best protection against AIDS and other future epidemics. Kenyans, this is a patriotic duty man!

Let mi quote Florence Anam’s facebook note;
“All of us are affected by HIV&AIDS either directly or indirectly. We have all lost someone we know. Let that not be in vain. Let it be a light in our hearts that would make us do what is right so that we stop new infections, get treatment to those who need it, Access VCT to enable us make informed choices and Live life!!”