What Happened After She Dumped Me

Posted: May 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

The first chic to dump my sorry-self lets call her girl E, was among the hortical girls in the village, yeah right, the one you hate for making you look worse than were created.

I gave my whole heart, was willing to trade my soul for her, I did many schupit things to please her, writing million poetic letters of how I just wanted her heart and will never borrow her till we walk down isle, telling her lies ’bout how I will be a doctor, build a house by the hill, a car, make two kids and live happily there after, lies, total lies ati how other boys are bad, their only goal is borrow her and make her tummy big, dreaming of her always, saving to buy that sweet cologne just for her, not using my sweet expensive lotion till she closes school, less I finish it, waiting eagerly just to see her after 3 months in boarding school, which seemed like eternity, forging friendships with her brother and family just to be with her, I started to go to Catholic church because of her (at this point Samuel Kamau Margaret don’t laugh btw rem amazing mission at Missions Hospital in North Kinagop ).

Waking everyday at 6am in the morning to meet their farm boy who takes milk to the dairy just to ask him how she is, hand over some fake love notes, and ask weather she mentions my name bla bla, getting the little monies I stole from mums to buy her earrings, carrying a dagger sometimes time to fight some lame vibed boys who tried to play bad ass with us ( Steve G Stingo you remember this point when Mucheru bought changaa to kina Patrick, Ritchie and Mathenge to beat shit out of us ?I miss some people daimn!?).

The few letters she wrote back I read daily before I slept, her photo was always on my table, before I sleep I glance…sweet world….. her face brought eternal bliss..big times…I loved that chic like nonsense, for three years I was running after her, then one morning she told me ‘am tired of being loved by you’ daimn! Though I saw it coming, I was devastated, it was hard really hard but as they say time heals all wounds, it did. After many years like 6 years I met her severally here in Nairobi and as we sat for cup of coffee I couldn’t believe we both had different lives thanks to God everyone’s doing great.

That was I think first love kind of schupit

The other was eerr… she is somebarys half so lets not mention names , unlike E this chic loved me totally from bottom of her heart! For the first time I felt loved and appreciated, she used to hold her skirt run for me on seeing me, ‘Lawrence I love you from head to toe’ a phrase that boosted myself esteem like shiet, she wasn’t my league, I was a poor village kid next door, couldn’t understand how she could love me, I remember this day she invite me to her home, she took me to rooms showed me her bedroom wa! Big , clean , million pair of shoes, had never seen such only on movies, I grew up knowing even the one pair of shoe you have is only to wear on Sundays, Christmas and Easter holiday when mum cooked chapos, otherwise it will wear out, and mum has only enough monies for food and school fees, period! God bless that lady mum, she struggled to bring us up, I really love her dearly mmhhh really love her deeply…lets go back to my schupit tales…..

Back in the village those days, having dame amechanuka or educated chic on a mini skirt, tumbo-cut earned you the title ‘king’ and you become a big shit right there, the first chic to show to my mum…..life was blisss…..but fortunately of unfortunately after some time we grew distance and we decided lets move on, just for the records we dint dump each other.

When we met after like 3 years, what we shared was a faint memory, but again we had all moved on and each had separate life.

Others haven’t been dumpings really, but infamous turned down proposals, just like you, I have been told stuff like ‘lets just be friends’, ‘you are like a brother to me’, ‘you are too young for me’ while ‘others go silent’ which are soft ways of saying ‘I am just not into you’

I know I know I know it has not always been that baaaaaaad for you, right? Have experienced some showing schupid ‘I want you back’, ‘I was wrong’, ‘I was playing hard to get’, ‘I was going through a rough time’, ‘I was confused’ ‘I was immature and all..’ which I consider is saying ‘I dint see anything in you then’ kind of message…….


We all agree there is nothing as painful as breakup! Its very painful, and the worst is, there is no pain killer, no foolish medicine at the chemist, some of my friends I know drunk themselves silly, get chipsfunga [one nigh stands], smoke weed bla bla, change Churches, stop serving in Church ministry, cut ties with God and never to return to Church, others decide they will never fall in love again, all those thoughts including suicide pass through our heads at that time.

Enyewe I couldn’t do all those, what I did when young, is get down with my boys we discuss the flaws of that chic and how she was a mistake to me, and also I would get a new chic mostly one of her friends just to play jealousy and pretend am happy, it seemed to work, other was like writing some fake hate mails full of F words just to make her cry, but still pain was there.

But after seeing the light[thank you Jesus] the best way I do now is go out on an off day [I like Arboretum] its my balmyard, reflect on my life, pray over it, cry all other heart aches, yell, scream at God, blame Him, blame myself , blame the lady, blame ‘Gods voice’ decide I will never pray for a relationship again and all,

God always wins at the end of all and later I feel better and remind myself its not the first time and He that let it happen knows I can handle it, its a lesson not to be lost with the girl and I reflect on

Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Rom 8:28 We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.

Jah makes the rain fall and grass grows again!


1 It’s normal
You are not the first soul to get dumped, no matter how cute, gifted, holy you are, prayer warrior, favored of God, pastor, wherever, shit will happen to anyone without favors.

So dust yourself and stop blaming yourself or anyone, for heavens sake grow up! And keep God out of this, saying God had confirmed this and that, crap…. did you meet Him in person? You just listened to your mischievous heart after that fasting with the said girl.

2 It’s not the end bana
We always say, me included, ‘its over with me, I will never find love again’ who said so? Just coz that’s how you are feeling doesn’t mean that’s how it will be, this is nonsense of course, and grief distorts our thinking.

Please do try, despite all the pain to keep some logic in the situation, say something like: ‘I feel terrible and I am utterly crushed that I’ve been dumped.’ But don’t be a foo to add: ‘And no one else will ever love me and I am bound to be lonely for ever.’ You foo, if you do, you’re actually just overloading your brain with misery, and it’s got enough to cope with already.

3 Accept the fact she/he is gone…… forever!
Now this is hard for even me, crap! I hate a small voice telling me “its just the ups and down she will come back little buddy, in fact most precious things in life come with struggle, like Joseph it’s a test to you” on relationship? Now this is the biggest crap you need not buy..even as I write I feel that girl we broke up will comeback changed..i hate this !NKT

Please stop acting desperate! stop sending sms, stop making calls, ask me that I will tell you, been there done that, acted life foo ..even I have no words, delete the number but unfortunately other pipos like me have the number stored inside brains, you’ve memorized it, stop updating on twitter on facebook how desperado you are, even though you really are! it makes you look desperado and silly, you will feel bad about yourself and make the other person even hate you more.

Sit alone and focus on the persons worse behaviors eg when she/he yelled at that pregnant workmate, or when she/she stole from boss, or when she/he got drunk in that party, and acted like a foo, just think of something that will make you feel; ‘after all its just another human’

4 Share with friends and kindly get a life!
Its important even if you are in a bliss relationship don’t keep your close friends far[like most chics so] they come in handy, go out with friends and le me tell you, most friends like hearing and consoling you when your poor ass has been dumped, than when you got engaged to Mr or Miss world, talk to them and you will feel better, talk as much as possible until you get bored with the blady subject, now this is easy with chics than men, but talk it out. You never know one of your friends might hook you to his/her cousin coming to town and get yourself a wife.

Do exercise, go for a movie, join gym, and please ladies for you personal gods’ sake stop eating all types of junkie at this time, saying it’s a way to ‘eradicate stress’ and not taking care of your self, you look silly! Please do something else schupit, cry in the bathroom for hours, close your room for days, deleted any thing that remind you of that foo, get out of facebook for a while, no don’t! facebook helps, just block that foo, getting out will separate you from your girlfriends that you really need now,

All in all please do something to save your sorryself, if you are like me and have a hand of writing, write a song or a poem about it, and please don’t talk trash about somebody, don’t! you will be sued and find your self in Nairobi law courts , or HR, write it well and smart, post it, people will comment and you realize there are more of your kind, you will feel better.

Spoil yourself; get some other useless, fun drama in your life asap!!if there is any bashment around, attend, the small dues your dear boss gave you, don’t drink it, buy a new clad or shoe, nice cologne, new hairstyle and you will find that more admires on the rise and even those die hard prying vultures who have been waiting for eternity you get dumped to have a milkshake date or movie wit you. Don’t sit there feeling sorry, get a life!

When they finally drags their pants back

Please be advised its against the commandments since the great turtle ascended from the sea, don’t accept them, be wary, they are desperate and might have mashed up their lives. Please don’t kiss or have sex!!! Its easy to lungula with your ex, please don’t, you deserve better, and you will have backslide if you did.

You never know, she might be grooving with cop who will get the roomer from girlfriend of that workmate you hang with watching football at the joint, the cop comes for you, beats the living crap out of you, shoots you and plants a gun on you, to claim self defense! As my friend blogger puts it.

Bottom line heart breaks should be avoided at all costs dont be in a hurry to say ‘I love you’ because most leave permanent marks in our lives and instead of ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ it turns to ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stranger

I wish you all cool running! God bless!

  1. Dinah Muthuka says:

    Meeen…..That was something..hillarious but quit some good lessons there!!!

  2. thanks D for passing by ;=)

  3. jodo says:

    lawrence, are u describing someone here? ha ha haaaa…good storo

  4. LOL!! where have u been!? al those years ..lol! i knew i will smoke out some guyz like you n-way thanks sana for that 😀

  5. chupit indeed !! loooool laughed all the way, mani wena wanaaaa !!!

  6. @Shikuni nigwo! lol! true story! ahsante kwa kupitia

  7. Stingo says:

    Man u rem thoz deiz,leta kibao.E gal hatingiziki roho,man its tha best memo 2 mek ada strong

  8. hey Steve Stingo! true story memories are made of this lol!!!

  9. thekenyannutcase says:

    this is a deadly piece!!!!you write well

  10. @thekenyannutcase Ahsante sana , am humbled, thanks for passing by!

  11. Schuuppit in Love says:

    Thanks for this piece man. I was just dumped by ‘The One’ and although devastated, have drawn a number of tips. One thing i will caution men, don ever date a chic that cannot understand that you love her.

  12. you are very welcomed ‘Schuuppit in Love’ i know God has a perfect one for you, thanks for passing by ;-))

  13. Ok, I am tearing already………..Ati akina Mucheru walifanya nini?
    This is quite a nice piece……………
    I am trying to get the true identity of lady E………..Ukienda na pale chini towards Simba?

  14. Real fluctuation, how autopic we can really be? Well after being together we discover each other and familiarity breeds contempt. When it happens just move on, traditional way of hooking up is being replaced by social networking on the web, google your luck!

  15. Joe4JC says:

    I hope we can all learn from this. It’s easy to identify with it.

  16. @Joe4JC and @Masini true dat thanks alot
    @Wakigo sister ya Kimemia/Justus hehehe

  17. Warhia says:

    Nice read.. nice read indeed.

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