Archive for April, 2010

No mo slaughtering or shooting of a honorable Kenyan

Posted: April 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

The reality of war honorable Kenyans is a very scary and terrifying experience, it’s neither the “Spartans! ahu! ahu!” we shout nor the “Spartacus” we like fantasizing about, its loosing hope for a tomorrow, its being separated with that lady or man you have been dating or your children forever, its seeing that house or car you have been financing going up in flame, its witnessing your mothers hand being slashed with a machete, its watching your dawta being raped and killed, its dying of hunger in a refugee camp, its being burnt alive, its being paralyzed and has to live in a wheelchair because of police bullet, its loosing your tweeter and facebook dream due to internet infrastructure destruction.

We became so ignorant to allow politicians to turn us into zombies and WE slaughtered each other, watched silently as our children die in the war front, the dream and innocence of little ones being abused. While all this took place, the politicians’ kids comfortably made their future bright in a school somewhere abroad.
We [me and you], are guilty, we are the ones who took the weapons, we should forgive each other, live as one family because even if we kill each other; Luos , Kikuyus, kisiis, Kalenjins, Pokots, Turkanas, Ogieks, Kambas, Mijikendas and all other tribes that display beauty in diversity will forever be in Kenyan soil.

In 1992-‘93 I was only 10-11 years old I witnessed the Mau Narok ethnic violence, screams all over, houses burning, dogs barking, people crying, sleepless nights and food tasting stale due to panic, people being brought back dead, some with arrows lodged in their bodies while others disappearing without trace, my mum scared she couldn’t even cook food, who will eat the food? we are all scared ,small kids running around innocently and playing without any idea what crap is happening, to them ‘no school’ is a blessings , people from neighboring interior Mwisho wa lami, Gatimu, Meta and Sururu farms , Likia , Mathangauta amongs others who had lost their properties, houses burnt , children and husbands killed, coming to our small town with gunias[sacks] full of potaoes, clothings and carrying mattresses those who got lucky not to loose their cattle come with it just because we have a police post.

The lame police playing dirty games as always, when we go to them they turn us back telling us our houses haven’t been burnt yet-can you imagine when all this was happening we had police force and Army in this nation. But of cause I can’t blame them they “work with orders from above”.

The war had started bloody weapons being kígútha [sling and stone], thibú [club], jurutati [a club with two sharp ends], itimú [spears], míguí [arrows] and faga [machetes], women made the ígúthas using sisal fibers, men and older boys made thibús, jurutatis from tress, spears and arrows heads were made by village blacksmiths.There were unconfirmed rumors of homemade guns by those old men that participated in Mau Mau war.

Fear was all over the village, young freaking boys (even 13 year old standard 8 pupils) and old men all being forced to go to war to defend the community, the order was; eat meat, take gíchiri [blunt machete] and go to the forest to fight the well armed and ready invaders, most boys have never even succeeded in kicking the ass of class bully and many died. One villager who was a pastor went to fight with gumboots (most villagers were farmers) and when shit got tight they got overwhelmed and people ran back, he couldn’t, that was the last time his wife and kids saw him alive.

Small chickens like me got away with it but faced the humiliation of wearing a skirt, it was alleged that the invaders didn’t want to see any looser that will grow into a man.
At night it was “doria”, shift job of guarding the village and being at Mau escarpment it was freaking cold out there, men survived by smoking score cigarette and “kiraiku” unrefined tobacco.

Women were not spared either, they were busy cooking for fighters and knitting jurutatis (the sling) from sisal fibers, my grand mother exited because she took part in colonial Mau Mau war and took “muma” [oath] and when she hears war she runs towards it, wth!
She used to believe whoever kills you even if you are a sinner carries your sins and you will go to heaven, I always stuck to that gospel and because I wasn’t born again I knew I could die anytime I needed that assurance.

There were road blocks in Mau-Narok Nakuru road especially at Ndefo, where the fighters flashed out of cars any freaking male running away, if you could be able to hold a machete then you can fight, all you needed is eat meat and you are lead to the forest, you had to defend the people or die.

In 2007 every Kenyan experienced the bloodiest of the of them all, I need not go into details, but it’s a lesson for all of us to treat each other with respect and know we are all brothers, every community has its flaws, I have friends from all communities I love. Lets not point fingers even to politicians because they dint take the weapons, it’s us, lets learn to take responsibility of our actions, and lets clean up our mess and learn from it. We need to learn from our mistakes and forgive each other, Kenya is a great Nation and I know the future is bright.

God bless Kenya

If you read this post, know the power to change is in your vote. “It starts by me”

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KÍMÚDÚ /KIMUTU Discovered (ancient relative of humanity)

Posted: April 15, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Early last year I went with Rebecca a friend who happened to visit Kenya to Kariandusi prehistoric site in Gilgil, when we arrived, I was expecting to find real stuff that will amaze me, you know what I mean, but I was kinda sorry, we saw many small curved stones that we supposed to believe were our ancestors’ tools and weapons, also skulls of our distance relative Homo-wherever, I wasn’t so much convinced, I guess evolution and history isn’t my thing, I am into traveling big time and that’s why after the trip a new urge and love to visit mighty places like Koobi Fora, Olduvai Gorge which is normally referred to as “The Cradle of Mankind” and the famous west of Lake Turkana, where they discovered Kenyanthropus platyops emerged. I have always wished to visit lake Turkana and now coz my guy Thomas Isaiah is in Lodwa (you won’t belive what this Pastors son believes, ati he is an Atheist, ati he tells me religion is a tragedy path to humanity, what shit is that!? Ati we all have no purpose on Earth ? He must have a lot of faith to believe that). I don’t know how awesome I will feel when I finally step in that far away land cut out from civilization, at least Lake Baringo is closer to what i mean if you have been there, those are my places I‘d rather go there than Mombasa, I love being in less known/visited/ away from civilization places I think that’s why I love space science so much, I follow every mission, I was exited to follow the mission to mass, I watch it on DVD time and again, now the real shit to blow you is the probe New Horizons which blasted from Earth 2006 on its way to Pluto, it will be there in year 2015, that’s just amaaaaaazing! , I will post about that soon
Now about this Kimutu they discovered in South Africa, is amazing regardless of whether its a side-branch removed from humanity or whether its our ancestors, these new hominids has brought with it a lot of excitement to those like me who follow science news, International team of scientists said it might be a strong candidate for the immediate ancestor to the human lineage, look at that skull well and believe you me its not gorilla and its not human, something in between, that’s creepy ..I think the bible dint have to tell us everything in the world, that’s why God gave us brains to think and discover..okay wait a minute, if man originated in Africa like 6 billion years I can draw a flow chart that kinda proves or wherever, that we are all Africans, we originated here, and all this fuss ’bout culture, black, white, racism, and tribalism is truly vain, right? Just like the bible shows we came from one family, Jews err!..mmhhh… no, no that part ….am lost….lets just stick to our discussion.
One thing also I have discovered is that scientific theories do change with new discoveries, unlike Gods word which is unchanged absolute truth, am reminded not to change the bible to fit this theories, you might wake up one day and scientists tell you the carbon dating thingy only give dates for thousand of years not billions and Earth isn’t billions of years old.

Have you ever heard of dinosaur in the bible?

Job 40:15-24
“Behold, Be’hemoth, which I made as I made you, he eats grass like an ox, Behold his strength in his loins, and his power in the muscles of his belly. He makes his tail stiff like a cedar, the sinews of his thighs are knit together. His bones are tubes of bronze, his limbs like bars of iron. He is the first of the works of God, let him who made him bring near his sword!
For the mountains yield food for him where all the wild beasts play. Under the lotus plants he lies, in the covert of the reeds and in the marsh

On my research I found that the word “Behemoth” means “Giant, kingly beast”, trust me, meaner Behemoth for you is clearly a dinosaur, ebu check ati tail like cedar!? isn’t that like a giant lizard or dinosaur? lakini I ask why the funny name? It is not unusual to see animals referred to with names we don’t recognize. If you look in any Bible dictionary under animals, you will see lots of animals and their original Hebrew names. For example who would recognize the word “namer” as being the cheetah? Or “akbar” as being the mouse? The translation of many animal names from Hebrew was quite easy. Scholars could look at the physical descriptions and apply the appropriate English name. But when the translators came to the animal called “Behemoth” (described in Job chapter 40) ( wuu!! ..this guy behemoth is sending shivers down my spine ) they didn’t know what animal it was because no living animal fit that description. So in the English bible, they kept this animal’s original Hebrew name.

You got to love Be’hemoth

Musicians in Kenya using Twitter.

Posted: April 7, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Posted by Lawrence Mwangi


Almost all singists in Kenya have a Facebook page, kweli! rongo? But only few are using twitter, I would love to see more doing their thing in twitter, Gospelfathers, Nonini, Stella Mwangi aka STL, Avril, Madtraxx , Eric Wainaina, usernames @gosplefathers @noninimusic @stellamwangi @avrilogopa and @madtraxx @ EricWainaina respectively tops my list of Kenyan musician utilizing twitter, my research is limited to what names musicians are using on twitter, there might be some I don’t know about, on that list am interested with @noninimusic, his page is kinda busy compared to others, about his music progress, promoting his work godfather and where his shows are happening, gives links to downloads and his website, now another thing with Nonini, you follow him he will follow you, that makes his fans feel special. Ooohh and of cause me my username is @lawey .
You can use twitter to waste time or for your music career in a way that wins you fans.

Here are some of the ways to do that.

1. Create a twitter page
You need somewhere to start from and that’s opening a twitter account by visiting Twitter Website clicking on ‘sigh up’ button the rest in is a downhill slide, finally you can post a 140 character tweet to communicate to your followers

2. Following other folks
Once your Twitter account is in place, it’s time to start looking for other Twitter users to follow. If you know friends who use Twitter, start off by following them and then checking to see who else is following them – you might find more people to follow yourself in their list. The trick here is to get people to follow you – and the best way to do that is to start following them. Since you want to use Twitter to advance your music, your label or other music related business, look for fellow music types; Music fans, journalists, artists, labels, etc – these are the people you want to follow you, and I have given you examples lets do this!

3. Be wise when tweeting
The beauty of Twitter is also its downfall – the TMI effect. Twitter can be a great way to not only keep fans informed about your news but it can also make them feel closer to the whole process when you tweet about things you’re working on as you’re doing them. The trick is not to go too far and overload people with so much info they ignore your tweets. For instance, peppering your tweets about your show dates with tweets like “out buying strings for the tour” can be fun for people to read, but chronicling every inhale and exhale is overkill. Your important info will get lost in the shuffle.

4. Be Personal
Although giving people too much info can be a Twitter turnoff, not giving them enough attention can be equally damaging. There are many services, like Twitterfeed that will pick up your blog RSS feeds and post them to your Twitter page, doing the tweeting for you. This is good for your blog traffic, but if your only tweets are through a feeder, than people will stop paying attention. Make sure you keep adding personal tweets in there with the tweets picked up but your feeder – otherwise people will think you ignore your Twitter page – and they’ll start ignoring you.

5. Socialize
I do that very often when I find @muendo @Chiira @Amasy @kahenya @savvykenya @mwistar @kidkanye @MosesKoinange @switcheeks @misswairesh among others conversing, social interaction is the point of Twitter, so jump into the conversation. Not only may you end up building relationships with people that can help you in your music career, but you will also draw people back to your own Twitter page – where all of your news about your new release, tour dates and more can be found. You may even draw in some new fans.

6. Time is wealth don’t waste
Like, Facebook, Myspace, Twitter can be an enormous time sucker. Don’t substitute interaction on Twitter, Facebook or any social networking site for actually DOING something. Twitter can be a tool in your promotional arsenal, but it should never come before the basics like practicing, playing shows, and so on. Your number of Twitter followers, like your number of Facebook friends, is actually a pretty poor indicator of how much you’re accomplishing, so don’t forget most of what you need to do for your music career needs to happen outside of the virtual world.

7. Cool stuff to twit about, (examples)
Here are some ideas about things your can tweet about to keep music fans interested:
Updates from studio when recording
Reminding us about release dates shows etc
Updates from road when you’re on tour,
Your daily happenings like ‘am headed to Citizen TV for an exclusive interview’

So am looking forward to see more Kenyan artistes Roughtone, Nameless, Wahu, Wyre, Juliani, DNA, Ukoofulani, Warle Maina, Jua Kali, Cannibal, Jimmy Gait, Danco, Ingwe amongst many

Satan to host MTV Mama Music Awards

Posted: April 1, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Nairobi — He’s been a behind-the-scenes sponsor of the MTV Music Awards since its inception, and now Satan himself will emcee the 2012 Mama awards Nairobi show.

“It’s a real honor for us to have Satan as host,” said MTV Mama awards President Kaitagasini Muguiru. “This guy’s a legend.”

Satan seldom makes public appearances, but has worked extensively through media organs in recent decades. On an interview with our writer Nafo, Lucifer encouraged all to come, it gonna be a blast, he will bring with him the sexiest of his followers Jazabel tops the list, shaking her money maker, there will also be signing of autographs, he also said he will explain his beef with his boss from eternity past and that he has been misunderstood, he is in fact a cool guy.

The chief provocateur won’t disappoint at this year’s MTV show, insiders say. On the docket: Live animals copulating during a performance.

“Satan’s a boundary pusher, no question” says Kaitagasini. “But he’s gotten us this far, and with terrific ratings. We trust his instincts”.

NOTE: This is a satirical post names and events are all fictional.