Archive for March, 2010

We are only ones to save our poor selves

Posted: March 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

Have you ever wondered despite billions of shillings being forced down the throat of Kibera slums, life seems not to change?

Someone told me that when we went helping we decided how we want them helped, and what we think they want, instead of asking them what they want, most donors I have heard speaking, step to a slum and realize the slum is in ‘need of everything’ ,problems of Sanitation, drainage, unemployment, drugs, HIV/Aids, education, housing, health etc,

I once lived in a slum and its addictive and trying to get someone out of slums is hard, and what you might think is terrible thing might not be their number one need, one day I was in a public transport and we passed by the slum I live in Mau Narok called bondeni and I head guyz saying that ‘ukitaka kufa ingia bondeni , watu huuawa ata kwa shilingi mia, hakuna usalama’ (if you want to die go in to that place, you can be killed for 100 Ksh approximately one $ US) to those folks insecurity was the main problem, but funny enough, for us the residents never knew about that, okay people used to get killed eyes gorged out and shiet, point to note, no slum dweller got killed, but guyz coming from outside to get cheap liquor like changaa or sex and drugs lime Maryjane [marijuana],

I know of guyz who tried to build nice houses for their parents outside the slums only to realized after few weeks they already sneaked back tehehehe true story ….

Life in slum had some warmth and togetherness and most mastere survival tactics and ways to get money, and fyi most slum dweller in Nairobi don’t pay electricity or water, true story, even some don’t pay rent, they do illegal connections.

Have you ever wondered why Somalia is always at war? Coz there are a lot of people benefiting from that chupid war. I appreciate the work being done down at Kibera but our work can be more effective if we listen to what they want.

As long as slum dwellers live by handouts they shall remain slaves to donors, begging or receiving without giving lowers the recipients self esteem, there is only one way that I ‘when I lived in a slum’ found effective and that was giving me education is all I needed.

We all agree Kibera and other informal settlements like Mathare, Mukuru etc is blessed with a sea of talent and human resource to be tapped, the recent film ‘soul boy‘ shot in Kibera slums and many more like the footballers, recording artist , fine artist etc the list is endless.

It is also a source of hooligans who are manipulated by politicians to cause mayhem and destruction, drug abuse, and all vises. The one and most effective to transform one, is by education, when you empower somebody by education you change their thinking and view of life and they turn to be better persons, sort of teaching me how to fish rather than giving me a fish sort of thing, with the free primary education initiative and many donor partners and foreign governments

I would love they concentrate on educating the slum population, this include but not limited to skills like computer skills, woodwork and signwriting, hairdressing salon, knitting and sewing

But of cause there is the reality of things like food and ‘sanitary towels’ for girls which if they lack the student won’t be able to attend classes that must be put into consideration.

Finally we are the ones to save our asses in this, no matter how many billions is channeled by donor countries truth of the matter is we Kenyans have the answers, every year the government is loosing billion of tax payers money through corruption scandals by greedy leaders, the latest being the free primary education fund appropriation leading to the UK and US government suspending the funding and who looses? The poor person’s kid. What we may need from donors if there is is help to not need help anymore.

We have the responsibility as Kenyans coming 2012 to vote for the candidate because of their integrity not because they bought our voted, because when they go to that parliament they have to recover the money they bribed you with.


I hope to have sex before rupture

Posted: March 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

If you dont have a sense of humour dont even try to read this post ..slide on.

I really doubt I know much about you, but I started experimenting and believing in God when I was pretty young and few days ago I made a flash back to my life as a child, and was shocked on how chupit I was to think I had urgent and most touching prayers to ever hit heavenly realm and save mankind ,namely;

BED WETTING prayer– I did it many times though, even at age 10 and the prayer was answered, thank Him I don’t sussu no more, but unfortunately I screwed hope of getting a girl from that forsaken class.

Make mum filthy rich prayer
– I was sick and fed up of poverty, I hated having to work my ass off at our farm in Mau Narok, I HATED GOING TO FARM WHEN ITS RAINY AND SEE WET HUMAN OR DOG POO, going to fetch water long distance, having to wait till Dec for mama to buy me sandak shoes and ‘Tokyo’ or ‘Freezer’ trouser and when am lucky ‘mariboko’ Reebok shoes, I hated Ugali, viazi and githeri tested evil, bread and butter was only on the first week of the month, this prayer was partly answered by God making me realize that its not about money and I can say mum has made a milestone, though shit is still on, but at different better level.

Mum not to die prayer
-when going for her travel’s, I really meant it, I was always scared, what if something bad happens to her? no school for me no good life etc, devil is a lair, him likes instilling fear in our little lives, right? But God works in mysterious ways.

Give her to me and I won’t touch her prayer– till i make her a wyfi, Yes she came, she left, others came, more went, promise broken, was happy ,was heart broken, am yet to figure out what hell goes on in that department.

Stupid school bully prayer-I prayed not to be see or beaten by them bullies, being naughty kid, during the week I used to abuse big boys and hide under mums [teacher] protection, but come on Friday! Wa! I used to be beaten like a worthless snake by other boys, that particular prayer was never considered, God decided He won’t be partner with me in crime.

Not to be in noise maker’s list prayer– that was miserably failed prayer, no one answered me, in fact everyday I received thousand lashes from hungry angry teachers coz I appeared in noise makers list EVERYDAY, and those guyz called school prefects!? Are heartless and mean, where did they come from? Imagine under my name in the noisemakers list they multiplied by 5, meaning I was 5 times noisemaker in class, most times I appeared in two lists one for class prefect, and the other for class monitor. It largely contributed to my attempted suicide and many years after leaving that school if i hear any bell ring i get a cold shudder in my heart, am dead serious life was hell then, its one thing being a noisemaker, its another thing being a combination of noisemaker, a airhead who gets nothing in class, always caught in all bad places including faking sickness to get sick off and being caught drawing two teachers a male and female naked, my cousin Peva tells me back then [we dint use to talk] everyday other girls from her class would tell her ‘leo ule kijana wenu atapigwa!‘ [ today your cousin will be beaten] each day.The school was Kimalel one of the best schools in Baringo, i was there only two years and i had to be transferred.

Help me pass this coming exams and I will get saved come January [not Dec] prayer-which he did and finally in campus He saved my poor self on a Feb, glory to Him! The most and grateful guy is me, being born again is the most awesome thing that happened to me.

It wasn’t all gray, not always whining, some shiznis was happening, I turned to a little sneaky thief, stealing farm produce and especially peas which gave nice money, from mum little farm, other niggaz in da hood one particular Karanja aka Kazee used to steal wheat and we sell in mikebes to local vendors[to this day I feel guilty of stealing from mum and wasting, I have never said sorry], the other dude I don’t remember his name, all I know is he stole from his mums shop though shit hit the fan when he started to do the same from neighboring shops and police got tipped off, that was the end of the reign of little thieves, so with the money I bought cassettes, some sorry South African songs, Chaka Demus and Plies, Lucky Dube my greatest guy [I cried when they killed him], buying many mandazis, sweets for fellow brothers in crime and more to bootlick and bribe the adored and feared bully niggaz in the hood, go to local video theaters watch movies like Rambo, Cynthia Ruthrock, No Retreat No surrender, Delta force 3, Vietnam ‘kijeshi’ wars, Bruce Lee, Drunken master, Brandon Lee, buying cards for chicks in boarding school, had my first club experience and was just amazed by the spinning multicolored disco lights! Not even songs or anything, the lights! and buying precious spray Brut and Cobra, of which if you touched ?I bite your finger of god ..sorry, bite your finger off, like I did on closing day when one bully called Gatere [If Gatere you read this am sorry] tried to spray his sweater non stop for like 2 minutes, couldn’t stand to hear the pshhhhhhhhh and watch my ‘precious’ ‘preci……ous’ shit that I bought with my hard earned cash, go down.

Finally there was one prayer [I know every dude had it when young] that I was passionate about and almost could feel heaven nodding when praying and I promised god ‘heavens’ if he answers, I could stay long hours in the rainy night inside warm blankets rain drops making lovely noise as I ponder and reflect about it, its funny one, don’t laughs at me, the prayer was ;

dear LORD help me to get marred before world ends, prayer -I even saw a visualized my prayer making headlines in the local newspapers;


Nairobi — After a youth pastor at The Bosks Ministries in Zimmaman preached a powerful message on rupture and the second coming of Jesus, Petro Thuo of Jidtahidi High School was plunged into anxiety that one day the trumpet will sound and he’ll be caught up to meet the Lord in the air without ever having enjoyed what he has dreamt for years, his first sexual encounter with his wife on their wedding night.
“I’ve been really praying that the Lord would delay His return until I can have sex,” Thuo says, sitting on the edge of his bed, hands clasped nervously. So great is his concern that he has considered marrying a near-stranger through AGs office in Nairobi, shagging, then having the marriage nullified, but his conscience disallows it. Still, he can’t shake the fear of missing what he regards as “probably the highest form of earthly pleasure.”

His parents are warning the eager teen not to rush into anything.”I told him to hold his horses,” Mr Omondi a father who has raised him in strict Christian upbringing says. “Any married person knows sex isn’t anything to build your life around, especially when compared to the second coming.” •

Call them funny and self centered, whining or whatever, but they were the best prayers a sincere kid could afford.

please don’t read !! Roman 8:13 when we don’t know how to pray the spirit prays for us.

What are the prayers you prayed and how did it go!? I don’t mean warrior ones in your intercessory team in Campus and church? but the chupit ones,
All in all, hope you remember where He has brought you from and give thanks even if most haven’t been answered but you have moved miles a head, right? Give thanks always, I choose this day to give thanks to the Highest Higher!

Missionary exaggerates Mandera mission testimony

Posted: March 16, 2010 in Uncategorized

Kasarani Mwiki — Daniel who graduated from local university last year and has been volunteering as a missioner in Mandera under Moto Church admitted he might have exaggerated his testimony due to excitement.

The 20 minutes given to share about God’s work and ask for financial support at Moto Church turned out to be one hour of “movie like” tales of how a Muslim girl swallowed by a large Hyena was saved by fire from heaven after his prayers “the girl Fatuma came out alive not even smelling smoke”

“Due to that heroic act 800 souls accepted Jesus” Said Dani

He went on to tell of how he cursed a big snake that had swallowed Somali fighter winning 15 big fishes[Al Shaababs] for the LORD, many people especially women clapped.

The pastor saw Dani has lost control and gently led the babbling 25 years old missioner off stage with the help of two deacons , the ushers took the offerings and he went to his diggz to finish the second series of ‘Legend of the seeker’

“Okay I bought the angel and big Hyena story” said one conservative witness. “You’re not a decent missionary without a good angelic intervention in your back pocket!”

“But the part about 800 souls getting saved in one service? In a town of less than 5000 population?Aaii.. hehehe That was a really far-fetched.” •

“Dude has been watching a lot of movies” said one youth leader who dint want his name mentioned.

Dani can be reached by his facebook name Danny Daniels

[ NB:This is a Christian satirical post; fiction work]

Certain Nigerians discuss beautyful Nairobi and our Cute ladies!

Posted: March 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

I was charting with my pal Nafthali stuff bout unbelievable car deals in town after he came form Athi to do some tests for a race car, he loves car race and shiet, it made me stroll the net on rates for importing second hand cars especially from Japan just out of curiosity, and Tara!! I found myself in this Nigerian website called Nairaland in a certain export bizz discussion topic and all over sudden I saw something that made me forget what was I surfing about..Gossip!
It was about a certain super cute Kenyan girl that made a Nigerian dudes heart ‘faraghasha’ mara hio hio

The discussion went like

Topic: Met A Super, Super Cute Girl From Kenya

Got her number a couple days ago, so today we go on a date. We went to the local bookstore together.
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh maaaaaan she’s something else. Im feeling love drunk right now. She’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute, my heart was racing the entire time. …… She paused looked at me and I just went in for the kill. Oooooooooooooh that felt as good

read more on this link………
super cute Kenyan girl

Now wait and this will blow your mind!, I went ahead and saw them secretly admiring how Kenya is amazingly beautiful as compered to some of their cities !! what nice crap is this??? 😀

Here are some posts

Topic: Nairobi Photos (kenya): A Beautiful East African City (Read 264265 views)

So Kenya has no oil., and look at the results, nigeria has oil and neither Lagos nor Abuja can compete with Nairobi so what the hell is wrong with us?

another Nigerian dude said

I have not had the good fortune to visit Nairobi, but my brother has visited twice
and he can attest to the fact that it is a beautiful and civilised city. These pictures
appear to confirm what he has said.
I hope DBLOCK will take note, that a nice city is not about having lovely tall
buildings it is more than that.
Does anyone notice that most of the pictures of Lagos in this section are of buildings,
hardly any pictures of what life is like on the ground for every Lagosian.

still another

Very nice pictures.
But I was watching the America Idol give back last week, Bono, Simeon Cowell, Ryan, Randy and the rest went to Africa, Kenya was shown. Oh my goodness !! I couldn’t believe what I saw.
Now with the beautiful picture here, my question is why is motherland Africa like this? Some place 100% beautiful, some other place 100% dirty and not fit for living.”

read more and see dem photos on the link…..
Kenyan beautiful City

Now can i hear you repeat Alfred Mutuas words najivunia kuwa mkenya (am proud to be a Kenyan)
have a great week

What do you look for in a woman?

Posted: March 8, 2010 in Uncategorized

Back in the days remember?? Your first crush!? First skirt to chase or wherever.. you were very innocent and the love was so pure and simple and you meant it when you told her you can drop out of school and run away with her…I guess that’s y the bible says the kingdom of God is for those with hearts like children

Some like me wa messed up chicken freaks..who couldn’t vibe a girl to save their life, damn! dude has come from far…Use to wonder what do I tell a girl?, where do I start from, a disgrace I was to the ancestors …nway some niggerz in the hood thought highly of me at that time and one offered to hook me up with his virgin the name of ‘giving back to the community’ WTH!?, …lucky for me it was her first time too two freaking naives hit with one stone.

That was before I was admitted to school of hard knocks, and now I know there is a lot to a shawty than the legs, the figure 8 or how nicely she clads , at times the soooooo fly shawty turns out to be a disappointment in several ways, right?

So when looking for potential soul mate or whatever what do u really look for, should you look at her outside? That’s if she is loaded with cash, if she is cutest, educated, and gifted in church etc or her character/ inside? Sometimes I have found myself with drop-dead gorgeous but character is a big NO and am like ‘wwwooiii can she change?? Can I pray for God to change her?’ When I walk with her all naggerz in the hood turn to look and whistle, I feel like a king, like am where I wanted and sometimes I meet a very nice wife material very mature respects you, treats you like a man, but something is wrong, u don’t thinks she is such attractive and doesn’t draw much attention. There is a lady friend of mine who tells me she know of a pastor who marred a worship leader coz of her nice voice super performance on stage, then after the wedding he realized his long from-youthful dream was to get a chic with a big ‘hagga’ [ass] the rest is a sad story, That’s a dilemma that most of me and you face sometimes.

Lets face, it we are all attracted by beauty and money and whatever first, and it’s the dream of every dude to get the hottest chic, apart from insecure dudes who think like ‘how many people have seen her…I cant keep her?’ and I don’t think its wrong to be attracted by looks or being a little judgmental to some length, if you are a parent and your dawta comes home with his new boyfee and it turns out it’s a dude who dresses like a gangster with pants hanging off their asses and showing more than half of their underwear, you won’t celebrate, will you? And I won’t blame you coz that’s the purpose of our judgment, tho’ history has taught us that sometimes those lousy looking folks can turn out to be the sweetest people on earth, I was such and when I went to church eeerrrrr there was a lot of issshhhh that ‘we’ the new breeds of youths should not stand in the pulpit coz we dressed like the world…thats why I don’t judge..okay ..i try not to judge its not good to judge people.

From my experience looks are deceiving I had this very cute gal from our home area , immediately after joining campus, she was the very beautiful, not your average gyal and I was so exited just to be with her , but after the relationship kicked, I realized the other dark side of her , that I was not able to handle and the beauty faded, we normally meet occasionally but she is not the same person I first knew…and I have come to learn its not about the looks , for me I will settle with any girl who has cool character even if she Is just average, as long as we love each other, she doesn’t have to be perfect me myself am not perfect.and my advice to you is dong go for looks, but look for somebody who will love you understand you and walk with you in both good and bad times. dont go for look , i repeat dont go for looks

I know we all desire outspoken, upbeat, independent, self-confident, conservative, enthusiastic, goal oriented, charming, NOT A FERMINIST!!!, loving, caring, motherly, understanding, tall, nice skin, long hair, nice legs and ass, big brown eyes and the list is endless, the truth is, no such person exists, make friends with everyone without having this ‘potential mate’ thing in your mind, then from those friends you have, you will get to know one well, and maybe fall in love, who knows.

I will outline some of the most important stuff to discuss with the special somebody before you are sure you want to settle with em.

Before that, I have sure words from the creator of all hot chicks and hunks so please read and know what is says is the truth , He used Solomon the wisest and richest king at that time in history, he enjoyed the company of hundreds of hotties including foreign princesses, this dude was there and did it. [It should be noted they drove his heart away from God]

Pro 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD

Pro 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD.

A. Important Experiences from the Past [past experience affects values, friends, religion, health etc]

1. Common Interests –so you can share their time and activities.

2. Morals – knows what you consider right or wrong

3. Intellectual Development – you have a degree if she has never been to school then there is a problem

4. Cultural background – This refers person’s identity based on that culture.

5. Family history – it determines their identity, outlook of life and their friends[Bush dawta and Osama’s son lol]

6. Interaction within family – the in laws

7. Response under pressure and stress – very important

B. Future Aspirations and Expectations
1. Children – do you want kids and how many?

2. Financial Stability – here we mean ‘having financial stability’ not ‘being financially rich’

3. ‘Healthy’ Sexual Outlook

4. Willingness to Sacrifice for Each Other – This is a mutual understanding of the time and effort that the couple expect to spend going out of their individual way to help his or her soul mate.

5. Commitment to Each Other

6. Properly Treating Each Other when Alone Together

7. Appropriately Treating Each Other in the Presence of Others

8. Priorities in Life

9. Resolving Conflicts and Reconciling –there must be disagreement in life how do you resolve