Yes!I am a proud owner of one regret if not two!

Posted: January 24, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Ask me weather I have regret in life and I will tell you yes!!!
Trust me its not that cutest girl I broke up in college without even having kissed her ati was playin safe preserving her…..nope…[okay there is little of dat, but its not the main thing am tokin bout here]

Am really devastated by he fact that I never participated in..okay le mi put it this way..if am given one chance to go back to that little boy I was, I would join Church worship team and take every opportunity to participate in singing competitions and join school choirs ….those many days I spent with my friend peter a DJ at club oyster shell Nakuru dancing and never touching the systems just ignorant …I wouldn’t like to blame mum but I wish from when I was young she natured my music interest.

Le mi give you a brief history

In Africa most parents believe you have to excel in academics to have a good life , anything apart from that is considered a rebellion, the likes of music, sports, art etc and to some extreme examples like my mum believed I have to excel in science and I have to be specifically a teacher because teachers are always in demand[tho poorly paid, [she would tell me better small salary than nothing at all, and it made sence at that time] now, I was molded to b’live that, in campus I sucked my life by spending many hours in BLT and Chriromo library cracking dem mathematics formulas especially differentia equations, Calculus, Linear algebra, Vector analysis [ I gat me myself a bloody E in vectors I just couldn’t get it] I hated math. when I was leaving secondary, I had A- in math but in Campus I met some stuff with only lettrs x,y,z a etc and some weird signs like α β ∞ ∑ and I thot what the hell!? lost the bearing totally , in differential equation one calculation could take two full pages and I couldn’t see where I will apply that in life so that mentality and the fact that in campus especially public universities no one cares, they give u handouts and u go cram or do whatever u will and meet in exam week [some lectures after realizing they haven’t taught, they would come the last week, do some mathematical examples in class and set that as exams..so no one fails as long as u attend the last class to exam..really weaked] got me perfom very very poorly in mathematics.
Hehe come to chemistry over the years I grew interes in chemistry so much and in secondary school I aspired to become a chemical Engeneer but I dint do Physics !? damn! The reason being we had this music teacher, this moron [God help me forgive him] used to pick on me every lesson and call me names like cattle rustler, I hated him and I hated physics..i got messed in that area so dint do physics wish I meet him now in the streets and give him a piece of my mind ..in campus the cozy relationship between me and chemistry grew deeper and I took it to the next level , I worked hard dis a lot of reading an by third year I was given a chance to specialize in chemistry , so I did Inorganic, Organic, Physical, Industrial ,Heterocyclic and even Nuclear and Radiation chemistry courses and I loved every part of chemistry on my project I synthesized glucagons and I was so so exited ..i performed well and graduated with second class upper division waw!! That was God ….thank God I passed and I got a job! Am happy it pays my bills and pays for other courses like music and also help my mum am happy and enjoy it but am I applying my chemistry!? Sadly nope! So is most of my class mates most with even first class in Chemistry are working with banks Equity, KCB, Barclays and other institutions and they totally changed their careers and did MBA etc reasons being scientist aren’t well recognized in Africa, we have very few firms that pay scientist well. Others are Indian firms and le mi tell you the last place u wanna work is in those companies they don’t value ur education ..nor ur safety I don’t wanna go there..
So at the end of the day u have to pay the bills and you get someone who pays you well and what do u do ditch your career ambitions be flexible and adapt to new environment that’s what is happening with me and many others here , I wish the system could change so that we don’t have to loose a lot of resources in Campus, but that is good still , they say the first degree is a bouncing board and shows you that ur teachable and from there you can choose your career..they say the next degree is what determines what your career is !? as for me I don’t thing I wanna do chemistry again life has changed I will do MBA and music . the place I work has transformed me and I thing I love marketing so much because I have seen its results and impact and I know I have a gift in marketing too, I have worked with customers and learned a lot on how serving customers well can transform your business and I have loved business stuff much …am talented in music too but I wish I knew this early in age and natured it.

So where wa we??? Okay on the litte ignorant lad Lawrence 15 years ago..education has transformed me and the lives of many members of my family , I came from a humble background and those that educated their kids, it has worked for them 100% and I wouldn’t blame my mum for insisting on my books alone and not to be obstructed by music and other stuff and I love her for that, but also I would much more be happier now if I was able to do music stuff little here and there because nomatter what else I do there is a void that is filled only when am doing music..but guess what its never too late and that’s why I decided this year I will do music production classes and for your information I have made several tracks I have learnt a lot and the inspiration to this post today is a very nice reggae track I made yesterday and its sooooooo nice ..i listen to it like hours I cant believe its like magic ….. am holding it like my child its soso fulfilling and that’s the difference of me doing my music yourself than going to the producer ..you get to birth your awn idear and connect with the song so so..u feel me !?
Conclusion is ; I live one day at a time and enjoy, do my best where I am weather its in career path or not, as long as am doing something, then that’s what God intends for me to do
May be one day I will see the sense in all this ..i don’t want to be in the losers club of demotivated guyz who are stuck in jobs they don’t want, I have to stay motivated and find purpose in the pace I am.., I have onlu one life and every minute I spend stressed am being unfair to myself…okay I do agree sometimes its crazy hard and u feel like running away but I wasn’t promised a smooth slid way in life ..
Am tired of typing sorry will edit the post later and add other stuff
Stay blessed!

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