Happy Birthday Stephen Hawking!

“If we discover a complete theory, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason—for then we should know the mind of God.” ~Hawking

That is a courageous phrase us space junkies have heard many times quoted in Science books, documentaries etc and from Prof. Stephen Hawking’s runaway best seller A Brief History of Time, which stayed on the British Sunday Times best-sellers list for a record-breaking 237 weeks

Stephen is an academic celebrity [The world's most famous living scientists~ GurdianUK] who has inspired more people probably since Albert Einstein, not only academically but also socially by the fact despite having been given two years to live at age 21 and severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis(ALS) has defied and contributed a lot in the fields of cosmology and quantum gravity, especially in the context of black holes attracting many awards and honours including 2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honour in the United States

1975 Eddington Medal
1976 Hughes Medal of the Royal Society
1979 Albert Einstein Medal
1981 Franklin Medal
1982 Order of the British Empire (Commander)
1985 Gold Medal of the Royal Astronomical Society
1986 Member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences
1988 Wolf Prize in Physics
1989 Prince of Asturias Awards in Concord
1989 Companion of Honour
1999 Julius Edgar Prize of American Physical Society
2003 Michelson Morley Award of Case W. Reserve University
2006 Copley Medal of the Royal Society
2008 Fonseca Prize of University of Santiago de Compostela
2009 US Presidential Medal of Freedom,highest civilian honor

from wikipedia

Stephen William Hawking, CH, CBE, FRS, FRSA (born 8 January 1942 is an English theoretical physicist and cosmologist, whose scientific books and public appearances have made him an academic celebrity. He is an Honorary Fellow of theRoyal Society of Arts, a lifetime member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences,and in 2009 was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the United States.

He is now Director of Research at the Centre for Theoretical Cosmology in the Department of Applied Mathematics and Theoretical Physics at the University of Cambridge. He is also a Fellow of Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge and a Distinguished Research Chair at the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics in Waterloo, Ontario.

Hawking and Religion

Hawking has stated that he is “not religious in the normal sense” and he believes that “the universe is governed by the laws of science. The laws may have been decreed by God, but God does not intervene to break the laws.”

Many pals of mine don’t understand why I’m so into a dude that said there is no heaven and no God yet claim to love Jesus. If you specialized in Science in college and have done some systematic theology, some little of bible translation and style of Hebrew writing and still don’t? Then it’s serious and we’ll need to talk, if you haven’t done that, then I understand why you don’t get it and probably simply wont.

For those that are just curious Science isn’t run like religion were anyone can say what they feel is a revelation or conviction, Science is a profession with targets and tough deadlines like any other job, it’s funded by tax payers money and a lot of it. Science proceeds by testing hypotheses and thus is restricted to natural, testable explanations. By definition, science is unable to confirm or deny the existence or work of a Creator, such questions are beyond the realm of science.. and just like a detective investigating a murder case cannot say God killed a person on a court of law, in Science profession you have to prove whatever you claim.

I loved science and though dropped Physics in form two due to one teacher [God forgive him] I continued with chemistry till university but has never known why Einstein is famous apart from his e=mc2 but after campus I got a chance to go back to Physics online [its fundamental of all Sciences] and I saw how Einstein explained gravity. I learned about space time warping and I was “what the hell!! This dude is a damn genius!!!” I viewed him like some celebrity with awe, the rest is history..What I’m saying is it takes effort to appreciate a Scientist, you have to understand what is the impact of their work to better life on Earth.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHEN HAWKING YOU’RE AN ISNPIRATION AND GIFT TO HUMANITY

Talk of Human Ingenuity

The last kedo 100 of 10 000 years of human history has been marked with phenomenon developments in technology

I have few photos of moon mission, the space station ventures and also photos by Hubble telescope of universes, some 30 million light years from Earth, lol! We’re seeing how they were those million years ago! Amazing right?

Working Online #TeamAwesome

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Last five months has been a package of fruitful work, outstanding fun, healthy challenges and most exiting part learning. I have learn a lot, like; to have an open mind, about ALL products and services, how processes work etc, met and known many people, but the most incredible and humbling thing is the support by our bosses, other departments, customers, and the team [team awesome]

My love of new media began when Kahenya Kamuyu and Mark Kaigwa were interviewed by Larry Madowo [two to three years ago] LOL searched for Kahenya on twitter and got his blog, that was the beginning of actual blogging before I was just copy pasting stuff and joking.

Kahenyas tips transformed my writing to “excellent writing” spell checks and research before posting, his way of writing inspired, went to several social media workshops like 1% Club, met more KOT [Kenyans on twitter] and awesome bloggers and as they say the rest is history….

I am a beginner, know less but the future looks good, few new things I have learn;

Job will follow you home- Constant monitoring and engaging is what goes in there and you will always be thinking of it, about that customer you promised his issue is being looked at, about strategies… updates, one tweet can mean a lot. You own every query and follow up keeping client updated.

Being representative of your organization online, even on your personal account you’ll come a cross a feedback or complain not directed to company account and you’ll have to forward to teams concerned.

Team Work! - Great teamwork makes things happen more than anything else in organization, a powerful force, more than skills and processes. The photos here are of the team members Mercy, Mbugua, Kibe, Sarah, Carol, Kange, Elizabeth N, Elizabeth W, Kemboi & Ruddy.

Teams usually become great teams when they decide to do it for themselves, not because someone says so. Something inspires them maybe, but ultimately the team decides. It’s a team thing. It has to be. But this has been possible due to the “tell us how you’ll like it to be” “give us your opinion” approach by bosses, I now believe people are best motivated if you can involve them in designing and deciding.

Team awesome is a beast when it comes to work, this guys works like they are on some drugs, actually even call when off to know how work is “report tumefikisha?” “ile issue iliendaje?” Love doing stuff not for recognition but for the team.

They are fun to be and have a sense of humor, they’ve brought happiness in my life, lol! So last Saturday we decided to hang out at some joint in Langata, wacha ifike dancing time and man!! ..So that’s why some people are in shape and they don’t go to the gym? Guys can really dance, it was amazing!!

We have an excellent boss who keeps us updated and gives us necessary support we need, Karimi.

By itself alone Social M. won’t work!- The email with companies policy is in your outlook and you don’t work for twitter lol . You’ll have to learn many things that you may not necessarily be interested in to make it work for your company or clients, which includes PR and many more.

Load of research! – It evolves and language and trends keep changing everyday, new technologies that may be good for your clients.You’ll see OOMF,KOT,SUBARU,SUBTWEET,MKZ etc that isn’t in your dictionary

Before you used to receive specific queries, online is platform for all queries & complains, no scripts on how to answer clients on social media, it’s your judgment and the knowledge you have, you have to give a human side to the account without going too much

Its not just fun & chatting, its real WORK!-You think its fun 24\7? Well it is, until it isn’t. You have to think a lot. Especially about wording, the way you say things in your private life may not be right for your client/company. You’ll have to adapt new writing style.

It’s not just about playing around on Facebook\Twiter all day. It’s rather the complete opposite, its real work, lot of calling clients, other departments following up pending issues, getting valuable feedback that according to one colleague in our shops says “changes the atmosphere in the office”

Each tweet, each customer issue is a big thing and is followed to the end and when you have a one happy customer he\she will spread the news.

Clients complain, your reaction\response and efficiency will be visible to most of your followers, their followers and will work for or against you.

Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work. “
~ Vince Lombardi

Christians Believe In ‘Evolution’.

Nothing in Biology makes sense without Evolution theory by Charles Darwin, and has become one of the fundamental underlying concepts of modern science. It is well documented by evidence from a variety of scientific discipline, although still with many unanswered questions.

There has been a lot of debates and arguments about evolution but just like the Big Bang theory [see my earlier post "Christians believe in the Big bang"] it is one of the most misunderstood and controversial concepts in the eyes of the general public and I think its unfortunate situation. Science and religion are distinct.

You see, science and religion provide different ways of knowing the Earth and universe. Science proceeds by testing hypotheses and thus is restricted to natural, testable explanations. By definition, science is unable to confirm or deny the existence or work of a Creator; such questions are beyond the realm of science. As a scientific concept, evolution therefore can make no reference to a Creator. Many people of faith, including scientists, find no conflict between evolution and their religion; in fact, many religious denominations have issued statements supporting evolution. Science and religion need not conflict.

The bible is not a science journal and cannot be used to approve or disapprove science, same case applies, science cannot disapprove or approve God or Faith.

Life on Earth has changed through time. It has evolved. Change through time is a widely accepted meaning of the word evolution. We speak of the evolution of the English language, the evolution of the automobile, or the evolution of politics in the United States. In natural history, biological or organic evolution means change in populations of living organisms on planet Earth through time. Evolution is the best scientific explanation for this change.

As we continue to learn about life on Earth, the theory of evolution will itself evolve. Science is provisional truth; it changes, not eternal truth and I think Darwin would have been the first to throw his Origin of Species book if there was another theory supported by new evidence.

That is the strength, adventure, and excitement of doing science!!!

Should Humanity Tweet Back Aliens!?

Are We Alone?
The UN has drawn up a manifesto on what humanity should do if we detect signal\transmission from alien life. Stephen Hawking, the only true celebrity scientist has suggested that it’s “a little too risky” to respond or make contacts with aliens, so its like we are not alone or something, right?

Few decades ago before the 90s, it was unrealistic to talk openly of aliens, I remember having a chat with grand mamma about “andu a ngirini” (the green people) flying “ndege ya karai” (flying soccer), and as I grew up I began to understand that it was just science fiction. But things changed.

In 1995 scientist detected a planet orbiting a star 50 light years away from us, since then, they have found hundreds of planetary systems …ours is one example of billions. But most are gas giants that cannot support life..only few rocky with hostile environment, temperatures reaching 1600 degrees.

I normally follow closely as our SETI(Search for signals from extraterrestrial intelligence]scientists investigate and “discover” God’s creation secrets (and nature’s), I noted they focus on planets that have conditions to support life, most important liquid water, water allows chemical reactions to take place, like planets that are in the Goldilocks region; not too far to its star and not too close, where water will be liquid.

For many years we had an idea of conditions that life can thrive but things changed when an explorer discovered bizarre thriving ecosystems deep under the Atlantic ocean, a place with no light, no oxygen and high temperatures up to 600 degrees, they where named tube-worms, with no suns light for photosynthesis they use minerals at hydrothermal vents for chemosynthesis to get Energy. This was bizarre; imagine a living, not just living but thriving ecosystems in 600 degrees, no oxygen and light.

In 1PH boiling hot springs of Yellow stone national park scientists have been able to collect living organism, put in mind the PH is almost 1, if you put a copper penny it dissolves, resulting to an open mind in regards to where life can exist.

Search for life is not only done on far planetary systems only, in 2008 the Phoenix lender discovered frozen water crystals on Mars surface, In Europa Jupiter’s moon there are vast of ice cover and possibility of liquid water under the ice, Titan Saturn’s largest moon is most amazing with methane atmosphere that falls like rain due to temperature so cold up to minus 180 degree, methane falls like rain.

Meteorites have been found to have organic compounds and amino acids which are building blocks of life.

New discovery has brought us closer to the answers that we have asked for hundreds of years “are we alone?” Is there an advanced civilization in vast universe?

Stephen Hawking
Hawking suggested that aliens might simply raid Earth for its resources and then move on: “We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they can reach.”
Impact On Religion
Surveys show that only 10 percent of religious people think that such a discovery would challenge their view of God. In fact the popular evangelist Billy Graham belied in extraterrestrials.

Vatican astronomers Brother Guy Consolmagno and Father Gabriel Funes continue to stir up discussion with talk of planetary exploration ethics and the possible existence of alien life.

Barriers
But there are barriers, we cannot visit them. The nearest star to ours is four light years away [light takes 4 years to reach it, approximately 400 trillion KM away, with current technology it would take us 100 000 years to reach if we go]. We have more than 200 billion Stars in our home Milkiway galaxy and over 100 to 200 billion galaxies, with nearest galaxy being the Canis Major Dwarf Galaxy about 25,000 light years from us, but the number of galaxies will keep growing as our telescopes get better and can look out and back farther in time. The mathematics is MIND BLOWING.

So if we had a cosmic chat with aliens in planet surrounding nearest star, it would take more than four years to reach us, and eight years for them to have a reply!! HaHaa crazy right!? The cosmic chat isn’t cool.

Ok, the signal might reach us yes, but we might be in different levels technologically hence not able to interpret and vise versa. In the moment scientists are using mega observatory antennas to listen for signals from alien civilization!

Have a mind blowing week!

“Hellbound” Man Enjoys Free Church Offers

Ruai Nairobi — Mbuku, 36, a self-described agnostic and says he is “hellbound” has attended more church events in the past year than most longtime believers. His reason: He loves the freebies churches give out to unsaved people.

Mbuku has attends monthly bolling games by The Saints Evangelistic Ministry and even won a Ksh 5000 prize. Every Sunday he goes to a new church and when and visits the visitors desk were cookies and juice are served.

Last month he attended Harvesters of Truth Church retreat in Naivasha , his transport, meals and accommodation were catered for, totaling 65,000Ksh

“I was excited, and the hotel spa was fabulous!” Mbuku said in a telephone interview

In spite of heavy exposure to the Christian message, Mbuku remains totally immune to evangelism efforts. When people try to convert him, or at least get him to consider the claims of Christ, he just shrugs and smiles.

“For some reason it has no effect on me,” he says. “I really am in it just for the chips and soda.”

Some churches have gotten wise to Mbukus ways, but none turn him away.
“Anytime you give something away, you just factor in that Mbuku will be there,” says one assistant pastor.

Mbuku even rates the churches on their efforts to “save” him.

Fountain of Life has a pretty good pitch,” he says, referring to an independent charismatic church along Mombasa Road “Methodists don’t really say much about God. The Baptists backed me into a corner and argued with me, so I quit going there. The Unitarians were lame. The Wakorino place was flat-out freaky.”

Mbuku cut the interview short to “hit the ICC church’s newcomers dinner” — his fifth this year. •

NOTE:This Is a Christian Satirical Post Events Are Fictional

Lil Wayne UnpluggedMTV2011 History In Making!

Kenyan columnist Philip Mwaniki said few weeks ago that Gospel music in Kenyan industry became the desired music to both Christians and Non Christians when they began producing quality music compared to secular.

The corporate worlds sort them for product and services endorsements and most are smiling all the way to the bank!

With Safaricom live I agree live music performance in Kenya hasn’t been the same again, we have seen fine artist like Juliani, M.O.G Nameless, Jua Cali, Wyre, Size8, Wahu and others do live thingies putting doubts in critics minds.

I may have watched Lil Waynes UnpluggedMTV2011 late; performance was on June, but man! That’s history in the making. The last time a hip-hop artist was featured on MTV’s renowned live performance series, Unplugged was Jay-Z ten years ago,

Awesome band, no autotune and pure acoustics, Mr. Carter won hearts of both fans and critics. If you appreciate quality music then make a point of getting the DVD, or watch it online.

Goshdamit!! LOLIPOP in acoustic was super epic! Guyz who was that Hottie back up vocalist she so out of this world vocally.

WE SHALL BE “GODS” SOON! ~Scientists

Imagine a world we shall not be aging, no dying, no more Kenya Power blackouts, reason? We shall be taping on vast power of the ordinary seawater to create unlimited amounts of energy due to thermonuclear reactions on the Planet Earth, a world were computers will read your brain and execute that action, imagine teleporting!?Yes like in FRINGE series, thats what we talking about real stuff! Now imagine that honey moon in another planet let say mass or one of the Jupiter’s moon

I admit today’s technology and world is really changing very fast!Experts such as Ray Kurzweil, Michio Kaku, Stephen Hawking whom I do respect and admire and others have proposed ideas that are mind-blowing and way out of our imagination, that doesn’t mean they are impossible…most of things we enjoy in 21st Century were mythical creatures few decades ago.

In our native cave man understanding, a god is someone who can appear and disappear just like that! He can control things by his thoughts without movement, he can fly in the sky like a bird, can move to other planets, He NEVER dies!Well theoretically man can do all those. Look at below facts

Live Forever -Biotechnology Will Stop Aging

Futurist Ray Kurzweil says the coming biotechnology revolution will allow us, in the next 15 to 20 years, to reprogram our genes to resist both aging and disease. By mid-century, we may all be kept healthy and young by billions of nanorobots inside of our bodies. According to Kurzweil, this breakthrough will open the gates of immortality.

Control Things by Thoughts – Computers Will Read Our Thoughts

Technology is replicating and replacing functions long held in the brain. What does offloading your brain to technology mean for such vital human capacities as memory and creativity? Dr. Gary Small, Professor of Psychiatry and Aging, UCLA School of Medicine, says in the future you will wear a headband that will read your thoughts, so when you think a thought it will be translated wirelessly.

Never Ending Source of Energy- Energy From Fusion in 20 Years.

Sure, scientists always say that fusion is 20 years away, but this time theoretical physicist Michio Kaku says it’s for real. How significant would this be? Dr. Kaku tells Big Think News company “Fusion is the power of the sun, the possibility of using ordinary seawater to create unlimited amounts of energy due to thermonuclear reactions on the Planet Earth.” Kaku adds that possessing such a vast amount of clean power in just two decades might not be one moment too soon, as the planet may very well be choking on greenhouse gases.

Abandon Earth for Another Planet.

Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking says all we have to do is survive another two hundred years and the human race will be saved, because by that point human settlements in space will already be well-established. “I believe that the long-term future of the human race must be in space,” Hawking tells Big Think news company.
By the way have you watched “Terraforming Plane Mars” great Ideas?

Appear and Disappear in Another Place-Teleportation.

Teleportation is a term that refers to a number or theories and notions concerning the transfer of matter, energy or information between two places without it having to traverse the distance between them by conventional means, I could be in Imara my crib and appear Kileleshwa or Dandora or even UK, has inspired many science fiction movies and TV series like FRINGE, reminds me its long since they released another episode what cuting !?

Am so exited and happy for those developments. But in the past we had almost 6 wipe outs, most were brought by natural calamities like huge Asteroid that hit Mexico‘s Yucatan Penninsula 65 million years ago wiping off the dinosaurs along with most life on Earth, the huge Siberian volcano. It rained fire and acid rain for hundreds of thousands of years and destroyed 95% of Earths species 250 million years ago worst extinction event the planet has ever witnessed, we still have possibility of a wipe out by gamma ray burst, I won’t go into details of that now, but clearly those are things among many we cannot control. There are thousands dying of hunger and lack of clean water any development like one for fusion energy seems a great idea.

The planet Earth itself scientist say is so perfect and balances “like it was waiting for us” Magnetic field (from rotating iron core in the crust)that deflects lethal cosmic radiation,ozone layer that protects us from dangerous UV radiation,orbiting at distance from Sun not too hot not too cold for living things to survive.

God did that before creating us. My thoughts, we cannot be “Gods” we are limited but true life will be lot easier.

Prophet Downgrades Mombasa Earthquake Forecast

Mombasa Kenya — After incorrectly predicting that the Kenyan Coast would be rocked by a major earthquake and tsunami In 1st August, Nabii Wamalwa, who runs an independent prophetic ministry, downgraded his prediction to “some slight tremors which may be felt by a handful of people in Diani Southern Coast.

“By God’s grace, the terrible catastrophe I prophesied has been averted because people repented and prayed,” he said in an online statement to his 120,000 ministry supporters.

The massive tsunami God was going to send will instead be a “spiritual tsunami, a wave of God’s blessing that will cover Mombasa,” he said.

Participants in Wamalwa’s online chartroom were ecstatic.

“Nabii Wamalwa continues to demonstrate his powerful anointing,” said a longtime Wamalwa fan in a post last Tuesday. “Every disaster he has prophesied in the past 20 years has been averted through prayer. Praise God, people!!!!!” •

NOTE:This is a Christian satirical post, names and events are fictional.

Christians Believe in Big Bang Theory.

I love theoretical Physics and Cosmology, come to my crib I have a library of documentaries, I spend a lot of time listening to Dr Michio Kaku, Lawrence Krauss, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, Dr. Brian Cox and John Polkinghorne theoretical physicist, theologian, and Anglican priest, doesn’t always go very well with girl who loves “we” watch mushy..I love mushy too (been writing this from Monday)

First and foremost there have been very many misconceptions about the big bang, f.y.i the term “Big Bang” was originally coined in 1950 by Sir Fred Hoyle, a staunch opponent of the theory. Note the theory

1. Is not about the origin of the universe. Rather, its primary focus is the development of the universe over time

2. Has nothing like explosion but expansion of space time

The simplest description of the theory would be something like: “In the distant past, the universe was very dense and hot; since then it has expanded, becoming less dense and cooler.” The word “expanded” should not be taken to mean that matter flies apart. Rather, all things are moving away from each other.

It is like having an infinite rubber sheet with people sitting on it. Stretch the rubber sheet, and all the people move away from one another. Each things they are at the center of an explosion. It is an optical illusion – everybody moves away from everybody else and there is no center.

The theory is the most comprehensive and accurate explanation supported by scientific evidence and observations.

In 1929, Edwin Hubble using Hooker telescope at Mount Wilson Observatory discovered that all very distant galaxies and clusters have an apparent velocity directly away from our vantage point: the farther away, the higher the apparent velocity (planet and stars were expanding and moving away from each other)

If the distance between galaxy clusters is increasing today, everything must have been closer together in the past. This idea has been considered in detail back in time to extreme densities and temperatures, and large particle accelerators have been built to experiment on and test such conditions, resulting in significant confirmation of this theory.

Independently Georges Lemaître, a Belgian physicist and Roman Catholic priest, proposed that the inferred recession of the nebulae was due to the expansion of the Universe.
Huge strides in Big Bang cosmology have been made since the late 1990s as a result of major advances in telescope technology as well as the analysis of copious data from satellites such as COBE, the Hubble Space Telescope and WMAP.

Cosmologists now have fairly precise and accurate measurements of many of the parameters of the Big Bang model, and have made the unexpected discovery that the expansion of the Universe appears to be accelerating.

Next post we shall try to figure out “what came before the big bang” and we shall focus on Stephen Hawking theoretical physicist, cosmologist and celebrity Scientist who has conquered his physical challenge and used it for his advantage ..visualizing the universe in different dimension using his eyes brain and mathematics, coming up with new explanation of black holes and initial moments of universe

Later on we shall discuss the element of space time in understanding how big bodies; planets and stars curve space hence the gravity craizy stuff!!!Can’t wait

Without adding anything else anyone with eyes can see we really believe that the universe is expanding.

Pastor Ragu Suspended for Dropping ‘f-bomb’.

Thika Road — A youth pastor has been suspended from pulpit duties for two weeks for using obscene language during a board meeting.

On Tuesday board meeting treasurer said half of money meant for slum youth project(pioneered by youth pastor Ragu)was to be directed to stock church’s Sunday school library with kids books, youth pastor said “what the F$%^” !?

“It was long and drawn out and sort of lingered in the room for a moment,” says a co-worker. “I think he meant it in a positive way, but everybody froze.”

“It was way out of line,” says the chairman of the board. “We’re still trying to figure out why he felt he had license to speak that way.”

But pastor Ragu alias Shura as he is know among the youth says the senior pastor had given him permission to use “the f-bomb” with unsaved or rebellious youths to surprise and engage them. But senior pastor Bishop Ghino Victor says he gave no such permission.

“I didn’t know what ‘f-bomb’ meant,” said Bishop Ghino. “I probably thought he meant flatulence, which I thought was crude enough.”

The youth pastor says he had been practicing using the word in his office so it would roll off his tongue naturally when he uses it with young people, but that apparently it came too naturally at the meeting.

“Wrong context, probably,” Ragu said.

A worker at the local video library who sorted anonymity to protect her job told us that evening the youth pastor come and rented more than 10 movies, 5 series including Unknown, Rango, Rico, LOST seasons 3-6, Outsourced and others saying “Its early holiday again!”

NOTE:This Is a Christian Satirical Post Events Are Fictional

Man Frequents Club K1 to Break Religious Spirit

Nairobi, Ngara — Njeru George felt he was being influenced by a religious spirit, making him judgmental and closed-minded, so he began visiting a local club to celebrate his freedom in Christ.

“A religious spirit won’t go near a bar, so I’m safe in there,” he says downing a second Guinness seated at “sina tabu”

Church members say George has stopped showing up for weekday prayer meetings since he started battling his “demon of legalism.” What began as a spiritual housecleaning has become a full-fledged hobby.

During this year Main Campus Christian Union associates Sunday Njeru dint show up and he has never missed since he graduated 2007.

“He would always perform one or two songs and pledge to cover expenses of one missioner to years mission field” Said Mutembei a close friend.

At the club, George who goes by facebook name Georgie Mac’Njeru appears untroubled.

“I used to live by ‘don’t taste, don’t touch.’ Now it’s pass the beer nuts and who’s up for a game of pool?” he says. “That religious spirit takes it on the chin every time I’m here.” •

NOTE-This is a Christian Satirical post events are all fictional.

Nonini Heals Hundreads

Nairobi — Jane, 43, University of Nairobi Physics lecturer who has been confined to a wheelchair for much of her adult life, came to hear Genge artist Nonini speak at the University of Nairobi about Albino condition in national Albinism Day and afterward she found herself in a wheelchair access breezeway as Nonini and his entourage exited the Taifa hall. The Artist spotted her, came over, grabbed her hand and pulled her up. She found herself standing for the first time in eleven years.

“He smiled at me and said, ‘Uskonde mami,’” she says. “I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do.”

Fatu a leading Kenyan blogger has been having weird dreams of ghosts chasing her asking for water after watching Rango, went to Noninis home at night requested just to touch his pants and guess what? Nightmares stopped.

Jane and Fatu are among many people who claimed being healed by the Artist. We don’t talk about it a lot, but yeah, it does happen, “says one bodyguard who says he has seen multiple people healed. “We don’t know exactly how or why it’s happening, and Nonini won’t talk about it. He usually insists that people keep it quiet and just report it to their pastor or priest.”

Greeting fans after a performance in Eldoret , Nonini stepped into the dense crowd and spontaneously began touching people: a legally blind woman, a man deaf in one ear, a cancer sufferer and a lame man.

“Muskonde watu wangu!” Nonini said as he laid hands on afflicted bodies.

The people’s reactions were so joyous as to be almost frightening. They jumped and shouted and wept. Before they could thank or embrace the Artist, he was well down healing others.

His close associates who refer to him as “Agent N” and believe he is Gods secret agent, acknowledge that the phenomenon is occurring with greater frequency.

“His power goes beyond simple inspiration,” says friend. “There is something developing here that I’m not sure any of us fully understands.”

They say Nonini has told them privately that his time has not yet come, so it would be inappropriate to talk about the healings right now. He says he will wait until the appointed time to speak publicly about the “special calling” he believes he has to lead the youths and prepare for the second coming.

They do expect him to talk about “the providential nature of what is happening on the shows” in an upcoming address, mostly because word is getting around.

People have begun bringing relatives by the score to shows in hopes of a healing touch.

A leaked email gave details of a conference call between Jesus, Vatican, Whitehouse and Kenyan leading churches that concluded every church to give two of its prayer warriors to be standing in the gap for Nonini.

His close friends suspecting he might ask them the million Dolla question “whom do people say I am?” voted several prophets like, “one of the two witness in revelation”, Samson, Enock…. Kamangu received only one vote.

“It’s people wanting to get better, and wanting their friends and relatives to get better. It’s the belief that there’s something more here.” • Hagelin Kiprop Ronoh who is one of the “secret” intercessors said in a telephone interview.

NOTE: This is a Christian satirical post, events are all fictional.

Pastor Turns Church To Uji Kienyeji Classic Joint.

Nairobi, Westlands— Westlands Metro Church, which used its Uji kienyeji joint to attract visitors to its Mega church in the Westland area, has decided to abandon ministry altogether to focus on Uji Kienyeji and snacks.

“People liked the Uji a lot better than the ministry, according to congregational surveys, so we’re practicing what we preached and focusing on our strengths,” says former teaching pastor and now chief marketing officer, Douglas Barasa

“The sermons were okay, but the Uji is a killer,” says one woman who regularly attended the church for two years so she could enjoy the special brews. “I even brought my neighbors and they loved them” Many in the congregation seem downright relieved.

The staff of Westands Metro Church began noticing last year that more money was coming in through the Uji than in the offering.

“People complimented us about the Kienyeji Uji but didn’t really mention the preaching” says Barasa. “After feeling disappointed, we got realistic about it and realized God was telling us where to put our efforts. Now crowds are up and many former members are flourishing”

“Who knew I was so gifted at making Uji?” says the former head usher Wanjau

The church’s small groups have been turned into neighborhood reading clubs, with some reading Christian titles and others following the program mapishi on local TV station for recommendations.

People in the surrounding neighborhoods say they are far more likely to stop by now. One man who came occasionally says he feels less guilty standing around the Uji counter now that there is no service taking place.”Before, we had to sit through the service and pay our dues,” he says. “Now we go right to the good stuff — two calabash full”

The staff also feels liberated now that the pressure of ministry is off.

“The best way to be relevant is to give people what they want,” says Barasa. “In our case, that’s porridge drink.” •

NOTE:This is a Christian satirical post, names used are real persons but events are fictional.

Huyu Dame

Huyu Dame

She is the reverse of all dry things man,
Like rain She makes deserts crazy,
Wit em flowes when they wanna sleep!?

Haki you’r surrounded by her beauty,
Kwa crib between piano and jikoni,
I can see the footprints of a queen.

When all is rolled away in to the hills,
Without sunrise, without even drinks,
Lantern lit memories brings smile. #CitiHoppa